Mum's Word

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Mum's Word

WATCHING CRICKET = FAMILY BONDING

January 4th 2010 23:51

Mr M hates the cricket. He doesn’t get it.

“It’s boring. Nothing happens. What game takes 5 days to play?” Ummm…. Cricket!

Cricket in Australia is somewhat of a national tradition. Most Australians will tell you that Boxing Day is for eating Christmas leftovers, the start of the Sydney to Hobart yacht race and the Boxing Day Test Match.

It’s when we lounge around recovering from Christmas Day festivities and just let it all sink in.

I also put it to you that cricket (like Christmas) can bring families together. Admittedly test match cricket takes a long time. And there usually is a considerable amount of time between wickets. (unless you’re watching the most recent test match in Sydney that is…)

I digress.

With 5 days of cricket, 8 hours a day, that’s a lot of time a family can spend together watching a game “where hardly anything happens”. And if hardly anything happens then that leaves a lot of time for conversation and family bonding.

So Mr M, how about we gather the kids, park ourselves in front of the telly and have a good ol’ chat then eh?

C’mon Aussie, c’mon, c’mon.

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Posted By: Mrs M - Category: Social Comment

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I AM THE PROUD OWNER OF A LARGE FAMILY

December 24th 2009 01:50

I don’t know what that means; large family. Other than the literal meaning of
of more than average size, quantity, degree, etc.; exceeding that which is common to a kind or class; big; great:

The last definition, great, is apt. It is great, as in fantastic, to have a large family; and great, as in large in number when you compare it to the birth rate of most developed countries.

A popular question directed at me when I announced my 4th pregnancy, “was it planned?” I kind of get the impression the question that was actually being asked of me is “was this planned madness?”

Are there negative connotations to having a large family? Am I being paranoid? It just seems to be a talking point that I have 4 kids. Why is 4 such a special number?

You want special numbers, Mr M’s two sisters have families reaching double digits. So compared to them I’m still small fry.

General consensus is large families have 4 or more children.

The Australian Government says you’re a large family when you have 3 children. It was reflected my Family Assistance Office payments; I receive the Large Family supplement.

Peter Costello suggested we have one for the mother, one for the father and one for the country.

Well I had one for me, one for Mr M, one for the country, and one spare in case there was a dud. Are you buying that?

I have a family friend who told me once that families should be based on logical reason. You have one child because the parents want one; and then you have second child to keep the first child occupied.

I have another family friend who looked at it from an economical view; he said he wouldn’t have any more than 2 kids because family holiday packages aren’t set up for 3 kids.

I have to agree, it is a tad little bit limiting when trying to book accommodation. I’m also a tad, little bit limited in the car department too.

Most people who grew up in a large family tend to look on those times with fondness.

Most I’ve asked have said that they like the idea of a large family but financial or personal constraints are limiting them.

But while it may seem that having 4 children is in the minority, is it possible that the trend to go on and have 3 or 4 children could pick up speed?

Let’s look at some pros and cons.

The media has reported on numerous occasions that metropolitan cities like Sydney could not possibly cope with a substantial population increase. Sydney, it would seem, simply does not have the infrastructure in place. But if Australia is below the 2.1 replacement birth rate, then population increases surely then depend on migration.

Environmentally it is not a sound decision. Perhaps. I wonder if environmental impact has less to do with the number of people we have and more with how we live and treat this planet.

Economically and financially…well… while it has been reported that raising 1 child costs $1 million, I put it to you that 4 children will not cost $4 million. Clothes can be reused, as can major furniture items. Discounts are usually offered to siblings for school fees. I even get a discount for their swimming lessons.

The biggy is lost wages for the stay at home parent. Well while the SAHP will lose earnings, it’s not multiplied by each child; time out of the work force is extended by the age gap of the children, not an entire lifetime.

More children means more taxes to help sustain the ageing population.

There was a mini baby boom in 2008 with almost 300,000 babies being born taking the fertility rate to its highest level in 31 years (Women delivering more bundles of economic joysmh.com.au, 18 November 2009).

Why the boom?

Are women deciding to have children earlier? And therefore having more children?

According the abovementioned smh.com.au article women are having children earlier, because they’ve heeded the warnings about leaving it too late.

According to the demographers, the arithmetic explanation is not that parents are deciding to have more kids, but that they're deciding not to leave it so late to get started on a family. It's changes in the timing of child-bearing that do most to influence the annual fertility rate.”

If so, the trend to earlier starts may lead to more children being born because fewer women find they've left it too late to fit in a second kid. (The median age of women having children is now 30.8 years.)

For decades, surveys of young women have shown that the great majority of them intend to have two kids. About one in five say they don't intend to have kids, but these are offset by the small number saying they'd like to have more than two. This finding implies that what varies is not couples' views on the desirable number of kids, but the context in which they find themselves, particularly their economic context.

So we are having children earlier, just not more of them. So having 4 children is still out of the ordinary. So this sudden boom might just be a blip and birth rates will plateau as opposed to continually increasing.

I asked Mr M how he felt being the father of a large family. He looked up at me and asked “Am I?”

He thought about it for a minute and said, “It’s kinda cool, but it’s tough. Lots of responsibility”.

A good friend of mine has 4 children and I asked her if she is bombarded with comments.

“All the bloody time! It’s always a look of bewilderment - as if saying my god how could you!!! I think its a combination of actually having more than the norm of two or three and how one manages to look after them as well as those who see it from a financial view -'doesn't that cripple you ...'

I feel overwhelmed at times, but it’s only when things get the better of you and I wouldn't have it any other way!!”

So, I am a very proud owner of a large family. I am not an extraordinary person or earn a small fortune. It may not be easy raising 4 children, but it’s definitely not as hard as your think.

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Posted By: Mrs M - Category: Social Comment

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A CHILD ARRIVED JUST THE OTHER DAY

November 8th 2009 00:33

A child arrived just the other day, came into the world in the usual way….

Harry Chapman, Cats in the Cradle

Three weeks ago I gave birth to my fourth child, Lucas. And he pretty much came into the world in the usual way. As an outsider, the labour and delivery was textbook and fell within the parameters of a normal labour and delivery. No complications, no interventions, and I physically came out of it pretty unscathed.

Mentally on the other hand, it has been a real test.

This whole pregnancy, labour and delivery caper doesn’t get easier. Well actually, the labours are easier. My body expedited the labour process with my 2nd, 3rd and 4th children. The pregnancy and delivery part, not so much.

My chiropractor informed me that a woman’s body never fully returns to pre-pregnancy condition. There is obviously some wear and tear that simply remains. Therefore making any following pregnancy a little more taxing on the body.

I don’t understand why pregnancy has to be difficult. What purpose does it serve? High blood pressure, water retention, cramps, back pain, constipation, and the list goes on. Honestly, for as sophisticated as the human body is, it still leaves a lot to be desired.

And the hormones; why do I need to feel like crying one minute and screaming the next. My family around me doesn’t know what they’re going to get from day to day. Again I ask you, what’s the point?

I still need to be a functioning member of society, why am I struck down with these shortcomings? How does this prepare me for motherhood? How will this make me love my baby more?

But the delivery is a whole other monster. This is one instance where ignorance is bliss. With my first child I had no idea what lay in front of me so I just got on with the job of bearing down and pushing with all my might to deliver my daughter.

However, when it came to my 2nd labour and delivery I panicked. I froze, refused to push out of fear because I knew what was ahead of me. And this fear remained with my 3rd and 4th children. In fact, the fear reached a whole new level with my 4th child.

I don’t understand why it must hurt so much to deliver a baby. If that is what our bodies are meant to do, then why make it so difficult. It’s true, what they say, once the baby is born the pain is gone and after a while the memory of the pain fades. Presumably so women go back for more.

Well I went back for more, and this last time I was wondering whether I was going to get out of this alive. Right at the crucial moment I promised myself that 4 children are enough and I would never endure another pregnancy and delivery because it would be insane to put myself through all this again.

Mr M suggested that perhaps nature is trying to limit how many children we have; otherwise we’d all have a dozen kids. I wonder what kind of world that would be?

But babies are so damn cute aren't they? Melts the heart.

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Posted By: Mrs M - Category: Children

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CHILD REARING THROUGH POPULAR CULTURE

September 29th 2009 11:47

Cat Stevens' Father & Son son lyrics

From the moment I could talk, I was ordered to listen
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FATHER'S DAY

September 2nd 2009 01:10

This Sunday is Father's Day here in Australia. The day we give the dad's of this world a pat on the back and say "You know what? You're alright."

Mr M is a good dad. It's nice knowing that I chose a good man to have a family with. But what makes him a good man? It's not that he's flawless. He's not. Neither am I. It's the fact that Mr M doesn't hide or deny his flaws or limitations; he recognises them, addresses them

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DISAPPOINTMENT - A NECESSARY EVIL?

July 8th 2009 02:38

How do you handle disappointment? Do you embrace it? Do you ignore? Do you distract yourself from it? Do you use it to empower you?

The thing about disappointment is that it is 100% guaranteed to come knocking at your door several times over

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AM I REALLY BEING UNGREEN?

May 24th 2009 09:13

About a month ago I announced to the family and friends that Mr M and I are expecting Baby No. 4.

Congratulations and delight abound I was feeling pretty good. Until I read the following article

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TWO SETS PARENTS, TWO DIFFERENT SETS OF PUNISHMENT

April 21st 2009 02:40

An English health worker is standing by her "heartbreaking" decision to send her own son to prison after he became involved with drugs.

Mother Sends Own Son To Prison

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HAVE WE LOST OUR ABILITY TO THINK?

April 15th 2009 01:54

Do you think we’ve lost our ability to think? I think we don’t give ourselves enough credit in some cases….and in other we give ourselves too much credit.

Over the last 8 years, since I became a parent, the amount of parenting titles available on our bookshop shelves has just exploded. Is there really a market for this many books? Is there any end in sight? There is of course the baby section, the toddler section, the preschooler, starting school, heading into the tween faze, teenage years….I’m assuming we stop once our children become adults. There are books concentrating on boys, and there are books concentrating on girls. Those with learning difficulties and disabilities

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HATS OFF TO THE SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE

March 16th 2009 01:52

Over the last couple of weeks I have been watching parliamentary question time on ABC. I’m not altogether sure I gain any clarity on current issues as the politicians seem to always dance around the answers with their fancy deviations and verbose responses.

However, I truly sit in amazement for the speaker of the house. He keeps proceedings moving forward, he quickly pounces on anyone getting out of line and most importantly he keeps his cool

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January 2010

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