Mrs M
yoda76SOMETIMES I DON'T WANT TO BE THE BIGGER PERSON
May 3rd 2007 01:41
Sometimes I don’t want the responsibility. Sometimes I wish I could just ignore what’s going on around me and wait for someone else to fix it. But that someone doesn’t exist. I am a parent and part of the job description is being the bigger person, being the responsible one.
I’m writing this post today with ‘stolen moments’. Mr M is working from home today which is a huge help in the mornings; it is fantastic to share the breakfast and school run load.
But he is working to a deadline so I can’t ask him for help throughout the day; that wouldn’t be fair. And for some reason this morning the boys are going ‘nuts’ so they need a little extra attention.
They are kids therefore by definition, unpredictable. And today is one of those days. So I have to push my ‘to do’ list to one side so I can referee, discipline, distract the boys.
I didn’t wake up in a particularly good mood this morning. I was dreaming and in my dream I was very angry and frustrated. My 4 year old son came in and woke me mid dream and somehow my mood in my dream has transferred to my woken state mood. So I need to do something about that.
Without going into the tedious details of my ‘to do’ list, it was supposed to give me focus and hopefully lead to a better mood. But the list itself wasn’t terribly exciting; laundry is hardly a mood lifter. Now I have to rethink the list, which is only proving to frustrate me more. There’s no chance of getting to do any of the ‘me’ things; write a coherent post, finish some of my other writing. It is just one of those days.
Just thinking about the day ahead feels like a dead weight on my shoulders. A ball and chain around my ankles. But I must persist. I am the parent therefore by definition, the bigger person.
I’m writing this post today with ‘stolen moments’. Mr M is working from home today which is a huge help in the mornings; it is fantastic to share the breakfast and school run load.
But he is working to a deadline so I can’t ask him for help throughout the day; that wouldn’t be fair. And for some reason this morning the boys are going ‘nuts’ so they need a little extra attention.
They are kids therefore by definition, unpredictable. And today is one of those days. So I have to push my ‘to do’ list to one side so I can referee, discipline, distract the boys.
I didn’t wake up in a particularly good mood this morning. I was dreaming and in my dream I was very angry and frustrated. My 4 year old son came in and woke me mid dream and somehow my mood in my dream has transferred to my woken state mood. So I need to do something about that.
Without going into the tedious details of my ‘to do’ list, it was supposed to give me focus and hopefully lead to a better mood. But the list itself wasn’t terribly exciting; laundry is hardly a mood lifter. Now I have to rethink the list, which is only proving to frustrate me more. There’s no chance of getting to do any of the ‘me’ things; write a coherent post, finish some of my other writing. It is just one of those days.
Just thinking about the day ahead feels like a dead weight on my shoulders. A ball and chain around my ankles. But I must persist. I am the parent therefore by definition, the bigger person.
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Comment by DuskDevi
Rugby World Cup 2007
You are the bigger person because you're you.
...plus you're taller than the rugrats!!
I hope the day got/is getting better Mrs M.
...big hug...much warmth... and I beg to differ.
Nothing like doing laundry for clearing ones head, unblocking it...something very therapeutic about it... of course I could be deluding myself because at one stage I had about 14 loads of washing a week...BUT the best thing for unblocking and clearing...ironing.
...just smooth those wrinkles out....
Seriously.
...and seriously...Mrs M...I love your honesty and strength and security within that strength. It takes a Big Person to 'admit' they're not feeling that big when they should be.
Be well...
Dusk
Comment by Ash
Flashes of memories
I hope you feel better this evening Mrs M... surely Playschool and a nice chilly chardy will ease the nerves a little
hugs
ash
14 LOADS OF LAUNDRY DUSK?? My word.....
Comment by katyzzz
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Comment by David
Posts like these are among my favourites ...
They're as 'coherent' as they come ...
Sewn together seamlessly in the same fashion a real wife and mother holds a household together ... with the thread of self-sacrifice ...
Chaste embraces and none of that other stuff ...
David ...
Comment by Nickoftime's Sanity Corner
everybody feels the same way sometimes and there's nothing qrong with it..
Parenting is a daunting job for anyone, male or female...
But seems to me that women handle it far more easily than we men do...where you get the patience though is far beyond me!
And you ARE being the bigger person!
You're the adult! LOL Kids tend to be much smaller than us for a long time...*snort*
Take care,
Nick
Comment by Candice
Though I just can't understand why doing the laundry wasn't a 'mood lifter' for you. I just love putting on the washing, pegging it out, folding it up, having my daughter helpfully 'rearrange' it for me, fold it up again, put it away and hope that not too much ends up hidden between her careful attempts at folding the towels.
Comment by Hope
Gifted Parenting
Freelance For Life
But I can tell by the tone of your writing that you are a strong person and a wonderful mom. Surely tomorrow will be different.
Comment by D. Armenta
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Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
Hi Dusk,
Thanks for your kind words...they do help.
Laundry doesn't do it for me...whenever I'm stressed I got out and prune something in the garden...I don't particularly like gardening either but pruning does feel cathartic.
14 loads a week = 2 a day....WOW!!!!
Hi Ash,
I ran out of chardy
Hi katyzzz,
Self depracating humour...such an Australian trait.
Hi David,
I suppose there is something about 'honest' posts that say more than just what the words mean.
Hi Nick,
Too true.
I find my mine at the bottom of a wine glass
Hi Candice,
totally agree about the laundy
Hi Hope,
Thank you so much for your kind words. Ever since I became a parent, being strong is less about me and more about showing my kids how to 'keep their chin up' when things seem hard. They are my motivation.
Hi D,
Thanks D. Sometimes I feel like I'm faking it until I make it
Thanks everyone for your visit and your comments. You are all fantastic.
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by Kleonaptra
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