Mrs M
yoda76I'M A BIT SAD TODAY...
October 21st 2008 01:37
I'm feeling sad...not depressed, just a little bit sad.
Today my youngest turns 3!. Yay! I'm not sad about that. He's very cute
I'm sad because I'm on my own today. Tuesday is my child free day. My older two are at school and on Tuesday's my youngest goes to daycare. This year it happens to have fallen on his birthday.
I could have kept him home today but it's a tricky dance with my son. He has a good time at daycare but every week when I drop him off he buries his head in my leg and doesn't go off easily.
If I happen to miss a week, then the following week, it's even harder to get him to go. So I try to be very consistent and not miss any of his days....including his birthday....especially his birthday.
For the past couple of days I made a fuss about how he was going to be lucky to see his friends and share some cake. And he seemed genuinely excited about it. This morning when I dropped him off, for the first time, he just walked into his room, started playing and said "bye mum". No fuss at all.
It wasn't until I was driving home that I realised I really wanted to spend the day with him. Is this a sign of things to come? Will I feel like this every birthday when my kids get older and want to spend their birthday with their friends? It is their special day after all.
It's not long before my birthday is here but admittedly I don't get as excited about my birthday as I do about my childrens' birthday. There's an odd disconnect between me and my birthday. Others remember that day....I don't.
I suppose it's why I enjoy my childrens' birthdays more than my own. It may be their birthday but it's the day I birthed them. And to me that is far more special than clocking another year on my tally of birthdays.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHRISTIAN
HAPPY BIRTH DAY MR & MRS M!
Today my youngest turns 3!. Yay! I'm not sad about that. He's very cute
I'm sad because I'm on my own today. Tuesday is my child free day. My older two are at school and on Tuesday's my youngest goes to daycare. This year it happens to have fallen on his birthday.
I could have kept him home today but it's a tricky dance with my son. He has a good time at daycare but every week when I drop him off he buries his head in my leg and doesn't go off easily.
If I happen to miss a week, then the following week, it's even harder to get him to go. So I try to be very consistent and not miss any of his days....including his birthday....especially his birthday.
For the past couple of days I made a fuss about how he was going to be lucky to see his friends and share some cake. And he seemed genuinely excited about it. This morning when I dropped him off, for the first time, he just walked into his room, started playing and said "bye mum". No fuss at all.
It wasn't until I was driving home that I realised I really wanted to spend the day with him. Is this a sign of things to come? Will I feel like this every birthday when my kids get older and want to spend their birthday with their friends? It is their special day after all.
It's not long before my birthday is here but admittedly I don't get as excited about my birthday as I do about my childrens' birthday. There's an odd disconnect between me and my birthday. Others remember that day....I don't.
I suppose it's why I enjoy my childrens' birthdays more than my own. It may be their birthday but it's the day I birthed them. And to me that is far more special than clocking another year on my tally of birthdays.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHRISTIAN
HAPPY BIRTH DAY MR & MRS M!
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Comment by alt_ed
Alted Opinion
ArtCombat
The Inner Saintdom
Comment by Aimzster
Reality TV
The Jeepney Stop
First Time Mum
Comment by Cibbuano
Hunt Famous
Orble Post of the Day
Fat Cult
Techbreak
Comment by Mr Nice Guy
Pop Culturist
Pop Rock Factory
My eldest Miss is on her way to 17 with Miss 14 and Miss 12 well and truly on the road to being independent lasses.
Time passes so quickly - I still long for the days when little smiling faces come running (or sometimes crawling to the door) upon the announcment - 'daddy's home'.
It makes me sad too. But you have to simply involve yourself in the here and now and their growing up - jump on - the ride quickly changes from merry-go-rounds to dodgems and then roller coasters - rather I be there for each of them - no matter how scary it becomes - rememeber - you'll always be his mum.
Comment by Chris Champion
LettersToNorm
Vyoos
Zoomies
Bloggercises
The Blog of Lists
See how quickly they grow up these days! Give it a couple of weeks and dropping him at daycare will involve you burying your head in his leg and him offering soothing words. "Aww mum," he'll say, stroking your hair, "just think what fun you can have! You can write a blog and watch a movie and maybe bake some biscuits. And, hey, if you get time, my room could do with a tidy."
Great reading M
Comment by Anonymous
Fabulous post. You are suffering from, what I call, the Home Alone syndrome. Poor you.
I also love your Mr and Mrs M Birth Day wishes - I am so with you there.
I recently wrote a little piece about EXACTLY that concept (coming soon to a publication near you
Love your work
Jayne
Comment by Kleonaptra
Kalikapsychosis
That bit about the birthdays being special days to Mum because thats the day you birthed him - I think thats why parents go bananas over birthdays!
Comment by yoda76
The Tube Blog
...and right back at you.
You are truly a wonderful mother
Comment by colocountry
IIts good to mark the progress of our children with a notch in our heart. The most fantastic reality is that your commitment to Chiristian will launch him on a journey that will astound you in your autumn years. Knowing when to let the free spirit flutter, is one of the most perplexing ordeals for a parent... I know the heartache but I have experienced the exhileration of a child who just makes you so proud to stand in the same room and call him 'son'.
Enjoy
Col
Comment by Sara Dobson
My Turn
That brought a lump to my throat. My daughter who is only one is going to have to go to daycare regularly from next week as I return to work for three days. For so long I have made excuses for not going back to work but truth is I hate seeing her so upset.
She spent a few days a couple of weeks ago and I cried as much as her.
Now I will have to go through it again.
I want to hug her close and keep her this age forever.
Comment by Hazel Castillo
Working Title
Cirrus Cloud
Parent Adventures
man. I was both proud and heartbroken. My son doesn't cry for me anymore ... but he's adjusted well.
*sigh* the joys and pains of parenthood huh?
Comment by Lilla
From The Home Front
Enviro Warrior
Dream Herald
Esoteric Bookshop
Forgive me, but I am confused. Why put him in daycare at all if you do not have to work to pay a mortgage which is way above what you should be paying, or paying for a 4WD which you dont need, as many do?
Why force him?
Lilla ...
Comment by alt_ed
Alted Opinion
ArtCombat
The Inner Saintdom
It can be good for kids to go to day care/pre-school, you know, get them used to sharing and develop their interpersonal communication skills.
It's easier to get them used to the idea early rather than trying to get them to go right to big school.
Comment by Johnny Come Lately
Jack's Back
It's good that you are consistent. One day a week is good for the little one and good for the parent even if it feels like a tug on the heart. Better social and coping skills for Christian and important 'me time' for mummy. It's very healthy but it's a hard one!
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
How cool would I have been if I did that?!? And then watch the carers struggled to get them to sleep for their midday nap.
Hi Aimzster,
You're not wrong about missing your bubs once he/she is born. I read an article somewhere where it is not unusual to go through a mourning period just after a birth.
I went through it with all my 3 kids. It was my first night home after having Christian and he was asleep in my room and I was watching tv at the other end of the house and I kept thinking, 'he's all by himself' and then looking down at my wobbly empty vessel that once resembled a stomach and sighed.
Hi Cibby,
Yeah I do look forward to child free days. And I didn't think I would be sad yesterday but it just snuck up on me.
Hi MNG,
My kids jump up and down when Mr M walks in the door and still fight over who's going to get to lie next to me in bed....it's nice! Albeit a little uncomfortable
Hi Chris,
Very funny stuff!
I draw the line at doing his laundry after he's moved out of home
Hi Jayne,
My eldest turns 8 in March. 8?!? That day is the biggest birth day of them all.
It was a mild Autumn day...that day in March 2001. I walked into the labour ward with fear, excitement but most of all....can we get this baby out of me so I can meet it and finally get on with our lives.
Look forward to reading your stuff
Hi Kleo,
Too damn clever for my own good I am
Hi yoda
Was it as good for you as it was for me?
Hi Sara,
It is hard. No doubt about it. In the afternoon when I go to pick him I usually try to sneak in and watch him without him noticing me.
The only thing that keeps me from going crazy is watching play with his classmates and genuinely looking comfortable and happy.
It took a while but we got there.
Yesterday his carers made such a fuss for him for his birthday. Which he enjoyed. Lots of photos. Lots of smiles.
Today we played with all his presents and caught up on our hugs.
Hi Hazel,
I think you've got it in one. We want them to become independent but it's heartbreaking at the same time.
Who knew you could be happy and sad at the same time?
Hi Lilla,
It's a fair question you ask. I live in Sydney but by no means live an extravagant life. No 4WD in my driveway
There are lots of reasons why he goes to daycare one day a week.
Firstly, that's the day I try to write, conduct interviews, go to the library....scratch my bum
So I do try and use my day to write articles to sell to pay for the childcare leaving with me with exactly 7c after it is all said and done.
Also, Christian was delayed with his speech so it was suggested to me that he get involved with a playgroup or something.
I was told that speech problems can lead to behavioural problems. It was also suggested to me to see a behavioural therapist but didn't go down that road....not yet.
He doesn't share easily and automatically thinks that if a kid comes within a metre radius of him he's going to take his toy so he can get aggressive.
Apart from my writing, I decided to send Christian to day to help him, as alt_ed mentioned, with his social skills.
His carers are great and it's a class of 8 children with 2 carers so it's not too overwhelming for him.
He's very clingy (which hopefully he'll grow out of naturally...not forcefully). Although I don't want to force him to go to childcare I realised that I'm a bit limited in teaching to deal with other children.
Sure he's got his siblings but I think he also needed to be somewhere that's not his home and his toys.
The speech therapist said it was important for Christian to learn to wait for his turn and to communicate that he would like a turn.
He and I would play a game but it didn't seem like he was really "waiting" because it was just the two of us.
The other big plus is that his speech has improved because of daycare. His carers were made aware of his delay and they helped out. Every Tuesday afternoon when I pick him up he seems to be speaking more, and using different words, than when I drop him off in the morning.
I've heard some people say that children who only go to daycare one day a week cope less than children who go 2 or more days a week. That may be true but deep down in my guts I know that 2 days is too much for Christian right now.
And above all that, it gives me some free time to go to Alex's kindergarten class and help with his reading group for an hour....which makes Alex very happy.
So it wasn't a decision I made lightly...does anyone make this decision lightly?
I think childcare along with computers and television can be good things.... in moderation and carefully chosen programs.
Hi alt_ed
You speak the truth good man. I didn't go to preschool but then I remember still having midday naps when I was in kindy. How times have changed.
Pre-school is pretty much a pre-requisite now. Teachers would like to know that a kid can behave in a classroom environment. They think it is far more important than being able to count to 20.
Thanks everyone
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
'Me" time is very important. When I get to blast the stereo without being told it's too loud, I can eat chocolate for morning tea without having to hide it and have a nice warm cup of tea
Thanks for the visit
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by D. Armenta
The Florida Keys and Everglades
The Black Sheep Chronicles
What constitutes bad manners?
The male mystique
Debate Fan
-Taking a short break from my campaign against U.S. voter ignorance to stop in and say HI MRS. M, HI YODA!!
Still coming out with the universally thought-provoking posts..keep up the great work.
You really ought to have a syndicated column or T.V. show somewhere, you two...
XXOO,
D.
Comment by Janet Collins
Acceptable Etiquette
The Social Critic
Janet Collins Blog
If it's any consolation, I am one of those who likes to celebrate other peoples birthdays rather than my own. I don't have kids but if I did I would much more prefer to celebrate their own birthdays than mine.
My own family celebrates birthdays and we all get together for these ocasions . There is something though about the desire kids have to spend time with their friends. And I can relate to that. You are always going to be at home to greet them. and somehow they know that.
Janet
Comment by Jayne Kearney
Writers In Writing (and other writing)
(sorry for accidentally signing in as anonymous before!)
My birthday is also March 8!!!!! How exciting!
And I, too, am having a very special one next year (it's a number that ends in 0
Keep your eye out for the November issue of SC and read my column (Hunter Happenings) - I submitted it over a month ago so you and I definitely have a spooky connection.
Jayne x
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
You are one smart highly perceptive lady
Continue your good work with ignorant voters because even though we're in the land of Oz, whoever becomes president affects us too.
Hi Janet,
I was the same growing up. Preferring to spend the day with my friends.
When my family celebrated birthdays they would regale us with the events of the day and most people would giggle and have that reminiscent look in their eyes.
I would just sit there nodding, understanding what they were saying but no real emotional connection.
I'm with you, I prefer to celebrate other people's birthdays too.
Hi Jayne,
Happy 30th? come March next year?!?
I think I confused you. My daughter wasn't born on 8 March, she'll be turning 8 in March. And everytime I say it, it freaks me out. She'll officially be a tween.
It is a spooky connection, you and I. But a nice one.
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by Miswanderlust
Killer Beats
Ramble On
Hipnotherapy
Happy New Year to You and Mr. M and your sweet family. I am so sorry to be so lax in my blog reading. This post is very touching indeed! This doesn't go away..the events just differ. Pride and sadness all mixed up in life's soup... Cheers and hope you are well!
Mis
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
We're well, hope the holidays have been great for you. I've been a bit slack on the blog reading too.
I've been writing an article on homework and read "The Homework Myth" by Alfie Kohn. Compelling stuff.
I just had my birthday last week and while I was happy to just let it pass, Mr M had to bake a cake because the kids were expecting it. You can't have a birthday without a cake after all
Love & stuff
Mrs M