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BIRTH ORDER - FIRST BORNS

March 23rd 2007 01:24
I’ve been doing quite a bit of reading on birth order lately and I have to say it really is fascinating stuff. Not just to see how my children might turn out, but seeing how these theories apply to me and my siblings. I have to say that at times, it is freakishly accurate.

So today I begin the Birth Order series. Let me present the First Borns.

The first book I will refer to is Teach Your Child by Dr Miriam Stoppard.

Her list of personality characteristics of first borns include:-

• Uncertainty
• Mistrustfulness
• Insecurity
• Shrewdness
• Dependency
• Responsibility
• Authoritarianism
• Jealousy
• Conservatism
• Excitability
• Sensitiveness
• Self-achievement drive
• Need for affiliation

The other popular book about birth order is Why First Borns Rule The World and Last Borns Want To Change It by Michael Grose.

His list of characteristics include:-

• Goal-setters
• High achievers
• Perfectionists
• Responsible
• Rule Keepers
• Determined
• Detail People
• More neurotic
• More intense
• More inflexible

Grose says that first borns fall into 3 categories:-

1. The Leader of Pack – responsibility is generally thrust upon them.
2. The Shepherd (second mother or father) – They love to please because they have a strong need for approval of others.
3. The Hard Driver (high octane superwomen/man) – can’t sit still and tend to do everything on their own. They don’t make great team players, as they leave others in their wake.

Here are five strategies Grose recommends if you live or work with a first born.

1. Encourage rather than criticize
2. Save some responsibilities for others
3. Have special times and privileges
4. Flaunt your imperfections
5. Provide structure and rules

What kind of parents do first borns make?

Grose says they make terrific parents because they take parenting seriously – they try to learn all they can. However their tendency for perfectionism can make them critical of their children.


Does anyone agree or disagree with this assessment of first borns?

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Comments
13 Comments. [ Add A Comment ]

Comment by Ash

March 23rd 2007 01:39
Ah Mrs M I reckon this should be given out at hospitals when people have children! Being the first born I can agree with a lot of what is here....look forward to reading the rest!
ash

Comment by Wendi

March 23rd 2007 03:10
Wow, I can certainly see some truths here as far as my own kids go, but in looking at my siblings, I'd say the youngest should have been the first born.

Comment by D. Armenta

March 23rd 2007 23:51
Wow..that's pretty dead on, Mrs. M. I'm a first born raised by two first borns, and married to a first born. Most if not all of those descriptions are pretty accurate!

Comment by Mrs M

March 24th 2007 02:01
Hi Ash,

It really is fascinating stuff and I agree - they should hand this stuff out in hospitals.


Hi Wendi,

Well Wendi I'm the youngest but my closest sibling is 9 years older than me so I also have traits of an "only" child as well. Only children are closest to first borns when it comes to personality characteristics. So obviously there can be some variation to all this.


Hi D,

The book my Michael Grose goes into a lot more detail about birth order and relationships. ie what kind of marriage 2 first borns might have, or a 3rd born and a 1st born etc.

It even goes into detail about birth order and gender.


Thanks everyone for the visit and the comments.

Love & stuff
Mrs M

Comment by Candice

March 27th 2007 05:33
Hi Mrs M,

Great info!

Grose says they make terrific parents because they take parenting seriously – they try to learn all they can. However their tendency for perfectionism can make them critical of their children.

I agreed most with this part of it. My hubby and I are both first borns and I think both the negative and positive aspects of this are appropriate for both of us. It's something certainly to keep in mind as parents. I also liked the part on strategies with first borns!

Comment by Lilla

March 27th 2007 07:44
>>>Just voting and reading on>>>

Comment by Mrs M

March 27th 2007 13:05
Hi Candice,

Grose also talks about birth order and marriage. I'll try and write a wrap up post this week.


Hi Lilla,

Many thanks.


Love & stuff
Mrs M

Comment by KylieW

March 27th 2007 23:56
Mrs M,

Wow, that stuff really is accurate!! I'm a first born and I definitely fall into one of Grosse's categories.

Intriguing stuff

Kylie

Comment by Mrs M

March 28th 2007 01:48
Hi Kylie,

I'm learning a little more about you all as well

Love & stuff
Mrs M

Comment by Candice

March 28th 2007 04:36
Thanks Mrs M - I'll look forward to reading that one!

Comment by MelissaA

April 2nd 2007 03:53
I'm in the same position as D. Armenta, and i also notice these traits in my first born.

Interesting stuff.

Comment by Mrs M

April 3rd 2007 11:45
Hi Melissa,

So I've learnt a little more about you today. And you bake bread.

Love & stuff
Mrs M

Comment by MelissaA

April 16th 2007 08:01
; )

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