Mrs M
yoda76BIRTH ORDER - SECOND/MIDDLE BORNS
March 26th 2007 01:29
Today I present the Second/Middle Born child.
The first book I will refer to is Teach Your Child by Dr Miriam Stoppard.
Her list of personality characteristics of second/middle born children include:-
• Independence
• Aggressiveness
• Extroversion
• Funlovingness
• Gregariousness
• Dependability
• A placid and even temperament
I will also include the list she has for third born children because it sounds more like middle child characteristics than last born. Stoppard does have a list for last born that I will include in my next post.
Third born children:
• Aggressiveness
• Distractibility
• A craving for demonstrations of affection
• Is interested in making a happy home
• Jealousy
• Is plagued by feelings of parental neglect
• Feelings of inferiority
• Feelings of inadequacy
• Proneness to behaviour disorders
The following is from Why First Borns Rule The World and Last Borns Want To Change It by Michael Grose.
His list of characteristics of second and middle children include:-
• Flexible
• Diplomatic
• Peacemakers
• Free spirits
• Generous
• Competitive
Grose says that second/middle borns fall into 3 categories:-
1. The Socialiser – they work the room best.
2. The Justice Seeker – they can be stubborn and dig their heels in on an issue first borns see as trivial and last borns don’t notice. Strong sense of social justice.
3. The Diplomat – Better at seeing issues from different sides. They think it is easier to keep the peace than fight and are very adept at compromising.
Here are five strategies Grose recommends if you live with a second/middle born child.
1. Never compare a second born to a sibling.
2. Help them find their own area of expertise.
3. Listen to this child.
4. Initiate one-on-one time with your second born.
5. Don’t let them avoid conflict.
What kind of parents do second/middle borns make?
Grose says that seconds tend to accept the responsibility of being a parent a little more readily than last borns but also take a less anxious approach than first borns.
Does anyone agree or disagree with this assessment of second/middle borns?
The first book I will refer to is Teach Your Child by Dr Miriam Stoppard.
Her list of personality characteristics of second/middle born children include:-
• Independence
• Aggressiveness
• Extroversion
• Funlovingness
• Gregariousness
• Dependability
• A placid and even temperament
I will also include the list she has for third born children because it sounds more like middle child characteristics than last born. Stoppard does have a list for last born that I will include in my next post.
Third born children:
• Aggressiveness
• Distractibility
• A craving for demonstrations of affection
• Is interested in making a happy home
• Jealousy
• Is plagued by feelings of parental neglect
• Feelings of inferiority
• Feelings of inadequacy
• Proneness to behaviour disorders
The following is from Why First Borns Rule The World and Last Borns Want To Change It by Michael Grose.
His list of characteristics of second and middle children include:-
• Flexible
• Diplomatic
• Peacemakers
• Free spirits
• Generous
• Competitive
Grose says that second/middle borns fall into 3 categories:-
1. The Socialiser – they work the room best.
2. The Justice Seeker – they can be stubborn and dig their heels in on an issue first borns see as trivial and last borns don’t notice. Strong sense of social justice.
3. The Diplomat – Better at seeing issues from different sides. They think it is easier to keep the peace than fight and are very adept at compromising.
Here are five strategies Grose recommends if you live with a second/middle born child.
1. Never compare a second born to a sibling.
2. Help them find their own area of expertise.
3. Listen to this child.
4. Initiate one-on-one time with your second born.
5. Don’t let them avoid conflict.
What kind of parents do second/middle borns make?
Grose says that seconds tend to accept the responsibility of being a parent a little more readily than last borns but also take a less anxious approach than first borns.
Does anyone agree or disagree with this assessment of second/middle borns?
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Comment by Kleonaptra
Kalikapsychosis
Its a funny thing, and it can only be explained by that line in parenthood, which was unwittingly repeated by a friend of mine with 3 kids - " With the first one, they sneeze, and your in the emergency room. By the third one you let them gargle paint"
Comment by David
I'm a second (and last) born ...
I can't tell you what sort of parent I'd make ... I decided against parenthood, in order not to perpetuate any of the following or the deficiencies in any of the following:
1. Never compare a second born to a sibling.
2. Help them find their own area of expertise.
3. Listen to this child.
4. Initiate one-on-one time with your second born.
5. Don’t let them avoid conflict.
Chaste embraces and none of that other stuff ...
David ...
Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life
[B][I]1. Help them find their own area of expertise.
2. Listen to this child.
3. Initiate one-on-one time with your second born.
4. Don’t let them avoid conflict.
True....but I'm the second and last, so does this apply to me?
Tracy
Comment by Ash
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
I can see a lot of these traits in my younger sister.... look forward to the last born!
ash
Comment by D. Armenta
The Florida Keys and Everglades
The Black Sheep Chronicles
What constitutes bad manners?
The male mystique
Debate Fan
Interesting subject!
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
You've got it in one. Even though you were the last born there is more than a 6 year gap between you and your closest sibling so in effect you are like a first born - so you will have characteristics of both. I'm in the same boat.
Very funny
Hi David,
I promise to listen to you.
My middle child makes himself heard - perhaps that's a reaction on his part.
Hi Tracy,
Speaking from experience?
Hi Ash,
Glad you're enjoying this info
Hi D,
Well to answer your question, Michael Gross says that second borns can in fact have last born traits too. It is all dependent on gender, parenting styles, years between siblings etc. But the short answer is yes.
Thanks all for the visit and the comments.
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by MelissaA
Fun Facts