Mrs M
yoda76Boys Become Men
November 27th 2006 02:05
Correct. Boys become men. I know several men. Quite a few of them are my friends. I even married a man. They're not so bad. But before they became men they were BOYS!!!
Ooooh!. There's that dreaded word. Boys! Why doesn't anyone like boys? I am a mother of two boys. I often get asked whether or not I will have another baby and before I'm given the chance to respond I am met with with, "Oh but you don't want to end up with THREE boys! They're so much hard work".
Yes they are. They are indeed hard work. But they grow up into men. No-one seems to condemn men with as much vigour. Well maybe just a little bit.
Why is this gender condemned from the get go?
My first son is currently a handful. He doesn't sit still - he fidgets like mad he has the attention span of nat. He whinges everytime you ask him to do something. When he comes in for a hug I have to brace myself because he usually bowls me over. He doesn't understand, or perhaps he is just ignoring my pleas for him to be gentle with his baby brother. And he just generally seems to get into more mischief than his sister ever did.
But on the other hand I think he's as cute as a button. He has a gorgeous smile and even though I may end up bruised, I love his hugs. His energy is contagious and his love for his baby brother is unrelenting.
Boys and girls are different. There is no argument there. Much as been written about these differences and how to deal with boys, raise them, mould them. I have to admit to doing alot of reading because when I was pregnant I feared the worst - what if I had a boy? Like it was some sort of affliction.
I love my boys. I wouldn't trade them in for anything. I don't want to. My first son may be mischievous but he is certainly not mean spirited and I think that is the distinction that needs to be made. He may throw rocks at the back fence but he means no malice - he just likes the fact that he can throw with some accuracy and the sound the rock makes when it hits the fence. Sure he needs some guidance as to what is appropriate behaviour but he's not naughty.
Reading all those "texts" merely confirmed that boys are geared or wired (or whatever you want to call it) differently to girls. By the way, I'm not quite sure when girls became the benchmark to measure these things by. In any case, I did learn quite a bit.
A few years ago I read Steven Biddulph's Raising Boys. One fact stood out. It seemed to explain alot when it came to understanding boy's behaviour. Do you want to know what it is? It's a very simple explanation.
It would seem that boys have a testosterone boost at around the age of 4. It dissipates by around the age of 5 and doesn't come back until boys hit puberty. But armed with this one piece of information, all of a sudden my son who can't sit still and has no attention span all of a sudden falls into the "normal" category and not the "naughty" category.
It doesn't make it any less trying to talk to your son who doesn't seem to be paying attention to what you are saying because he is bouncing off the walls but it is comforting to know that he is just being a boy. Plain and simple. And there is nothing wrong with that.
Armed with this one piece of information has made the world of difference to understanding boy behaviour. Now to use it to my advantage - I'll just put a basket up high and give him his pyjamas to practice his throwing skills and if he misses he'll just try again - use up all that energy. Pyjamas off the floor makes for a happy mummy and throwing practice makes for a happy boy.
Let's not forget the neighbour who doesn't have to practice his dodging skills from flying rocks. Happy neighbour too!
Ooooh!. There's that dreaded word. Boys! Why doesn't anyone like boys? I am a mother of two boys. I often get asked whether or not I will have another baby and before I'm given the chance to respond I am met with with, "Oh but you don't want to end up with THREE boys! They're so much hard work".
Yes they are. They are indeed hard work. But they grow up into men. No-one seems to condemn men with as much vigour. Well maybe just a little bit.
Why is this gender condemned from the get go?
My first son is currently a handful. He doesn't sit still - he fidgets like mad he has the attention span of nat. He whinges everytime you ask him to do something. When he comes in for a hug I have to brace myself because he usually bowls me over. He doesn't understand, or perhaps he is just ignoring my pleas for him to be gentle with his baby brother. And he just generally seems to get into more mischief than his sister ever did.
But on the other hand I think he's as cute as a button. He has a gorgeous smile and even though I may end up bruised, I love his hugs. His energy is contagious and his love for his baby brother is unrelenting.
Boys and girls are different. There is no argument there. Much as been written about these differences and how to deal with boys, raise them, mould them. I have to admit to doing alot of reading because when I was pregnant I feared the worst - what if I had a boy? Like it was some sort of affliction.
I love my boys. I wouldn't trade them in for anything. I don't want to. My first son may be mischievous but he is certainly not mean spirited and I think that is the distinction that needs to be made. He may throw rocks at the back fence but he means no malice - he just likes the fact that he can throw with some accuracy and the sound the rock makes when it hits the fence. Sure he needs some guidance as to what is appropriate behaviour but he's not naughty.
Reading all those "texts" merely confirmed that boys are geared or wired (or whatever you want to call it) differently to girls. By the way, I'm not quite sure when girls became the benchmark to measure these things by. In any case, I did learn quite a bit.
A few years ago I read Steven Biddulph's Raising Boys. One fact stood out. It seemed to explain alot when it came to understanding boy's behaviour. Do you want to know what it is? It's a very simple explanation.
It would seem that boys have a testosterone boost at around the age of 4. It dissipates by around the age of 5 and doesn't come back until boys hit puberty. But armed with this one piece of information, all of a sudden my son who can't sit still and has no attention span all of a sudden falls into the "normal" category and not the "naughty" category.
It doesn't make it any less trying to talk to your son who doesn't seem to be paying attention to what you are saying because he is bouncing off the walls but it is comforting to know that he is just being a boy. Plain and simple. And there is nothing wrong with that.
Armed with this one piece of information has made the world of difference to understanding boy behaviour. Now to use it to my advantage - I'll just put a basket up high and give him his pyjamas to practice his throwing skills and if he misses he'll just try again - use up all that energy. Pyjamas off the floor makes for a happy mummy and throwing practice makes for a happy boy.
Let's not forget the neighbour who doesn't have to practice his dodging skills from flying rocks. Happy neighbour too!
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Comment by katyzzz
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My first was a boy, a little dynamo on legs, if there was mischief around he'd spot it a mile off.
I just wish I had my time over with him again, he was a boy with two sisters, what he really needed was a dad that could tolerate his into everything and 100 x faster than anyone else. I'm still trying to recover.
But, I loved my boy, but boy, did I make mistakes, who wouldn't?. It didn't stop at 5, but I think you've got something there.
Did he love little sister, sure did, loved tormenting the daylights out of her, was very good with his next little sister he was 61/2 by then and littlest sister was no competition, nor was the other one, if only he knew it.
But, he was a very engaging child and grew up with great charisma. He is a Scorpio.
Life goes on.
I don't think it will be long before alternative means prove disappointing for your boy and he'll be on to the next venture. But he sounds a whole heap more manageable than mine.
As the expression goes, "good luck with it all" when people don't give you any chance of success at all.
But, I'm sure you'll do well and three little boys sounds wonderful. And you just may get the girl.
You could, however, produce a football team just trying.
As you said before "I'll play". Please continue to.
Love and stuff - I'm learning -
katyzzz
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
My husband has 2 sisters. The first has 13 children (7 boys and 6 girls). The second sister is pregnant with her 9th (so far has 4 boys and 4 girls).
The first sister prefers boys because according to her girls play "mind games". Boys tell it straight.
The second prefers girls because the energy required to raise boys sometimes is a bit too much for her.
They are both right.
Love & stuff
Mrs M.
Comment by Johanna
PCOS Mum
I have an almost-seven-month-old boy, so you've given me an insight into what I should be expecting. He's already mischeivous but I wouldn't trade him for anything!
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
Children are beautiful things. We never learn anything unless we are tested and pushed. I think that is what is great about parenting.
Love & stuff
Mrs M