Mrs M
yoda76HAVE WE LOST OUR ABILITY TO THINK?
April 15th 2009 01:54
Do you think we’ve lost our ability to think? I think we don’t give ourselves enough credit in some cases….and in other we give ourselves too much credit.
Over the last 8 years, since I became a parent, the amount of parenting titles available on our bookshop shelves has just exploded. Is there really a market for this many books? Is there any end in sight? There is of course the baby section, the toddler section, the preschooler, starting school, heading into the tween faze, teenage years….I’m assuming we stop once our children become adults. There are books concentrating on boys, and there are books concentrating on girls. Those with learning difficulties and disabilities.
It would seem the old adage of ‘it takes a village to raise a child’ should change to ‘it takes a library to raise a child’.
And that’s really the key. The origin of information has change from the community to the library. If it’s not published it’s not credible?
Not that I’m against having books to help. That would make me a hypocrite, but the ‘choice’ has become so extensive how does a first time parent wade through all the titles and pick the one that’s right for them?
Sure, one book doesn’t fit everyone so choice is needed but is there such a thing as too much choice?
But raising children isn’t the only topic that has been hit by the barrage of books.
Cleaning. Yes, cleaning. How to keep a clean house now apparently needs a published how to guide to make sure we do it properly. Have we lost our capacity to think, organize and do for ourselves? Has our instinct completely abandoned us?
Sure there are cook books out and I myself own a few because recipes are almost endless but dusting? Do we really need an instructional manual for that? It’s not the sort of information that needs updating. If I want streak free windows I’m sure a quick question to surrounding friends will more than supply me with the necessary tools.
I’d love to know who the author’s are. How are they more qualified than me?
I have also noticed that having a vege patch in the garden has become fashionable, even somewhat of a necessity. It makes sense. It really does.
Being a child of migrant Greek parents we had a vege patch. A big one. My father’s tomatoes were the talk of the town. And my embarrassment swelled immensely. It was so peasant-like to have a vege patch. Couldn’t we just buy tomatoes like normal people? I’m not saying that is was a fair assessment. But that’s how I felt. So I paid no attention. And now that my kids want a vege patch I either have to swallow my pride and ask my dad for help….or buy a book.
Over the last 8 years, since I became a parent, the amount of parenting titles available on our bookshop shelves has just exploded. Is there really a market for this many books? Is there any end in sight? There is of course the baby section, the toddler section, the preschooler, starting school, heading into the tween faze, teenage years….I’m assuming we stop once our children become adults. There are books concentrating on boys, and there are books concentrating on girls. Those with learning difficulties and disabilities.
It would seem the old adage of ‘it takes a village to raise a child’ should change to ‘it takes a library to raise a child’.
And that’s really the key. The origin of information has change from the community to the library. If it’s not published it’s not credible?
Not that I’m against having books to help. That would make me a hypocrite, but the ‘choice’ has become so extensive how does a first time parent wade through all the titles and pick the one that’s right for them?
Sure, one book doesn’t fit everyone so choice is needed but is there such a thing as too much choice?
But raising children isn’t the only topic that has been hit by the barrage of books.
Cleaning. Yes, cleaning. How to keep a clean house now apparently needs a published how to guide to make sure we do it properly. Have we lost our capacity to think, organize and do for ourselves? Has our instinct completely abandoned us?
Sure there are cook books out and I myself own a few because recipes are almost endless but dusting? Do we really need an instructional manual for that? It’s not the sort of information that needs updating. If I want streak free windows I’m sure a quick question to surrounding friends will more than supply me with the necessary tools.
I’d love to know who the author’s are. How are they more qualified than me?
I have also noticed that having a vege patch in the garden has become fashionable, even somewhat of a necessity. It makes sense. It really does.
Being a child of migrant Greek parents we had a vege patch. A big one. My father’s tomatoes were the talk of the town. And my embarrassment swelled immensely. It was so peasant-like to have a vege patch. Couldn’t we just buy tomatoes like normal people? I’m not saying that is was a fair assessment. But that’s how I felt. So I paid no attention. And now that my kids want a vege patch I either have to swallow my pride and ask my dad for help….or buy a book.
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Comment by yoda76
The Tube Blog
Or if you want to raise a child. Or grow a vege patch. Or build something. Or....
You think just fine, Mrs M.
Comment by Damo
Comment by the world of gaye
batty
Family Madness
bright lights greedy city
REFLECTIONS
THE WINDMILLS OF MY MIND
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
Damo,
I always knew you were to blame for everything.
World of Gaye,
I think you've hit the nail on the head there. Very clever you.
Thanks for the visit
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by SpikeTheLobster
Qwerk
Peanut Butter
Most of the books suck, anyway. And being an expert means nothing. Best advice I get is usually from people who may not have a clue, but use their brains to find a good way to do things themselves - just like you!
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
You're too kind
My mum could write a book on cleaning an entire house using vinegar, bicarb soda and newspaper.
My dad could write one of the vege patch books.
They could make a lot of money. But that's not how they think. They don't look at things as a money making venture even though "smart money" may say that is the way to go.
Last year I decided to try and eliminate as may additives from our family's diet as possible. I did some research and then on a 3 month mission to find which butter has the least amount of additives; which tinned crushed tomatoes; sauces, etc etc.
It was a long process but I did it and of course passed on whatever I had discovered to friends etc.
I found a book in the bookshop which was full of recipes that used ingredients that had the least amount of additives.
I guess I missed my opportunity to cash in.
It's a real mindset I suppose. I have information and will not share it unless I profit. And accompanying it, I will not receive information that a writer, publisher and distribution chain hasn't deemed worthy.
Ah the irony, buy the book that will tell you how to dust it after it has been sitting on your bookshelf for too long.
Maybe my peasant-like migrant parents did teach me something after all.
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by Janet Collins
Acceptable Etiquette
The Social Critic
Janet Collins Blog
It's not only bookshops. Parenting blogs and ones very similar are killing it on the internet. Too many opinions just confuse us really.
Stay with your gut feel. You are pretty level headed anyway, Mrs. M. so don't worry about the books.
Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life
Sometimes too much information is too much.
It drives me a bit nutty.
Comment by yoda76
The Tube Blog
Mmm... maybe... but I don't think that's ALWAYS the case. Consider the fact that many will not hold advice sacred or useful unless they HAVE read it in a book or been told by an 'expert'. Sometimes it's a legitimate way of getting your message across which would otherwise fall on deaf ears... (Food Matters, anyone?).
Comment by Lady Henrietta Muddling
Potter in a Harry
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
What you say is very true, especially about challenging our own beliefs and experiences.
As for parenting blogs, they can be one of the most contentious going around. I try not to concentrate on topics of whether to breast or bottle feed, caesarian vs vagina birth etc etc. I'm not an expert.
But I find parents are a particular breed of people. They have lots of opinions. I do too. But there's a difference between opinion and preaching.
I'm comfortable enough to reject to accept information that is given to me. But not everyone is and it can sometimes come across as an abuse of power really.
Anyways...
Hi Tracy,
I have read many contradictory things about health. One book said that you should mix protein with carbohydrates because both take up to a couple of hours to digest.
Another book gave recipes that mixed protein and carbohydrates.
Oprah wields too much power. And that runs the risk of a monopoly I suppose. We stop researching. Dr Phil isn't the only psychologist in the world but damn it sure seems like it sometimes.
yoda,
It's not always the case and I'm not against books and readily available information. But how much is too much and what is the point of difference between them all.
Food Matters has a point of difference.
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by samaritan
Samaritan's Stories
But I'm afraid I probably should buy some of those cleaning books you mentioned. I don't have a single one - and I'm not a very good cleaner at all!
Samaritan
Comment by Cheryl J
Rhythmatism
Budget Centsability
It used to be that friends, neighbours and families were the ones we turned to when we needed advice. It was then discussed and you made up your own mind but with help from your own community. Now we all lock ourselves away from others and turn to self-help books (which I loathe by the way). As you said, if you look at the library shelves, there are books on every conceivable 'problem'.
I just wish people would talk to each other more. You learn far more from discussing and sharing your experiences with those around you than you will get from any 'help' book.
Plus, isn't half the fun of life learning as you go along?
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
I am so sorry I didn't reply to you earlier. My bad.
But I do think you're on a winner. Essentially people want all the hard work done for them and they just want to be presented with the results.
Hi Samaritan,
A friend of mine has one of the cleaning books. It's covered in dust. What can you do?
I think most people are guilty of not referring to their recipe books as often as they should. But I am a much better cook now that I was when I first moved out of home.
Mr M and I were talking about the origins of recipes and that they would have had to come from someone's mother or father. In particular we were talking about minestrone. And from what we could gather minestrone was a meal that village folk would make with whatever ingredients they had lying around. They didn't have a lot of money and most probably grew some of the ingredients and they just through it all together to make something. And if I go to a restaurant I'll get charged a bomb for it. If those old villagers could see us now they'd probably shake their heads in disbelief.
If nothing else, it is all amusing.
Hi Cheryl,
I think people need to talk more and judge less. To be honest I never joined the mother's group when my first was born because I kept getting the impression that sometimes they could be toxic.
And those that were most critical were probably the ones with the greatest insecurities. Which is a total shame because a book can't make you a cup of tea and say " you know what, I'm guilty of...whatever... too"
But I agree with you, when you talk more with others, you find that they're alot like you. And we shouldn't compare ourselves. That serves no purpose at all. No 2 people are the same, so why bother.
Maybe you can compare but not use other people as a yardstick for your own accomplishments, I suppose is a better way of putting it.
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by Lilla
From The Home Front
Enviro Warrior
Dream Herald
Esoteric Bookshop
. . another great question to make us all think
As a child who is also from migrant European parentage, like you, my resourcefullness was always handed down from generation to generation, parent to child, grandparent to grandchild, with care and *TIME* spent TOGETHER. Agreed. Learning was a a way of remembering what we had forgotten, not time poor, but patiently shown by our elders to help us remember . . taking responsibility for the seriousness of daily ritual within the family connected to the land.
Nowadays with the extended family gone, even the immediate one dissimilated into the Y not divorce generation, the poor kid is connected only to time. Dumped in day care where they learn how to avoid resourcefullness with everything sqeaky and shiny on tap to avoid thinkiing of ways to engage themselves in meaningful endeavours whilst the hours tick by, or why they are there in the first place. Completely disconnected from the meaning or purpose of life from the earliest of ages because in most western families money is the new god.
What practical skills are leant in day care (and there are some good ones like cooking, painting etc), are lost at home because the TV is switched on by exhausted, disconnected parents who just need peace and quite while they down their alcohol and take out dinners. The child learns that those skills are not *REAL* not for anything of purpose, just something to do to fillin the empty hours. evenings at home watching TV are the *REAL* things of substance . . and so most children are programmed from an early age.
Aah yes, the self help, how to do anything books.
Love Tracy*s comment about it having a perch on Oprahs Couch *lol*
Hahaha you wouldn*t believe the amount of counselling that I do because of the neurosis caused by women (and men) who try to live up to the expectations of doing things like Oprah/Cosmo/Cleo or Better Homes and Gardens has recommended as the ONLY way this is to be achieved!
Sickness. I see it as a sickness caused by no firm foundations of right and wrong that was so prevelant before industrialisation took its toll on humanity, taking us perhaps to the darkest spiritual opaquity (is that a word?) of history. Thank God for the coming shift. It will be interesting to see how people tether their horses outside K-Mart! *lol*
too bad for those without vege patches when the food shortages start.
Lilla . .
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
A friend of mine's mother recently passed away without handing down the recipe to a dish. The mother refused to hand it over because she was worried that if she wasn't the only one who knew how to make the dish then she would be discarded as largely useless. So she took the recipe to the grave.
Mr M is currently teaching Alex how to play chess. Alex is the one who wanted to learn. He's about to turn 6 so he forgets some of the rules and Mr M always ends up beating him.
Alex gets frustrated and upset but he wants to play. So everyday after dinner the game comes out. I have to hand it to Mr M because I don't think I would have this much patience but he does a magnificent job with Alex. That and the fact I don't know how to play chess.
But we are our children's first port of call when it comes to 'how to'.
I had a light bulb moment watching Oprah years ago. I was guilty of watching Oprah and Dr Phil everyday when I just had the one child and she was having her day time nap.
But my light bulb moment was one episode when Oprah was showing the world her new walk in wardrobe that was the size of a modest apartment.
She had a the same knitted jumper in 17 different shades.
I haven't been back since.
Actually my youngest Christian who attends preschool got his first lot of homework a few weeks ago. He is only 3. They were learning about nature and the environment so their task was to find pictures in a magazine, cut and paste them.
The note stressed that the child must do the cutting and pasting. It didn't matter if it 'looked messy' so long as they attempted it.
When my two older sit to do their school homework Christian always brings his Thomas colouring book, pencils, a piece of paper and scissors to the table and does homework too
When I asked the teachers about this set homework they said they were concerned that many of the 4 year olds in who were starting school next year didn't have access to scissors etc at home so they were trying to subtlety tell the parents that these kids need to be able to use scissors before they can learn to write.
It's a little stunning.
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by Lilla
From The Home Front
Enviro Warrior
Dream Herald
Esoteric Bookshop
Stunning indeed, I thought you were joking at first. . but no surprise I guess because the first part of my comment was based on the mothers I have spoken to and the women I have met, and I know it is not made up fiction. It was not aimed at you sweetie, sorry.
As for scissors? ooh don*t get me started. I had an ongoing problem with them at school as part of my daughters disability involved slow (or very little) fine motor skill development. Scissors in the early years were a whole class on their own and a never ending source of angst, as so many teachers of *normal* children felt she shouldn*t even try to use them .. bla bla bla won*t bore you with details of the bloody battles fought on that battlefield
You are a credit to the word parenthood ~ both you and Mr M ~ no doubts about it, but I have always felt that and you prove that day car CAN be used constructively as part of a cohesive whole by those who are responsible.
and as for Chess, drool . .
My favourite game. I also taught my girls at an early age and we still love to play on rainy evenings. Not good to beat the child all the time though, you gotta let them win sometimes least they loose their spirit. Chess is ideal for this as it allows them to think through how they structure their strategy. Mrs M, it is not a hard game to learn and you really should learn to play, with your wonderful mind, I think you would truly give Mr M a run for his money
Lilla . .
Comment by Lachy
As to books - I buy a book when I don't know anyone who knows jack about the subject, or I think everyone I know is just pulling their knowledge outta their bum etc. Which is mostly. After all how many people havedone a scientifically demonstrable double blind study on the cleaning efficiency of bi-carb soda?
Other than that I just call the wife's parents. They know stuff. Like, and I SHIT YOU NOT, they had to come over to show us how to CHANGE THE LIGHTBULBS in our new place the other day.
But I know Facebook (and iphones)...
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
Maybe I can buy a house where it has already been done
Cleaning with bi-carb soda isn't rocket science my friend. I'm not sure double blind placebo studies conducted by scientists are necessary. Do you own eyes deceive you?
Changing a light bulb? You made your in laws drive 40km to change a light bulb? How hard can it be?
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by Lachy
Pretty frakkin hard, my friend. Yoda couldn't do that shit with THE FORCE. NASA rocket scientists couldn't do it with a SLIDE RULE. Einstein couldn't do it with RELATIVITY. Catch my drift?
Perhaps ironically though, Rhi's dad could do it with pliers.
yeah but what do you clean with it, your teeth?
Yeah ... except the light bulbs bit. That shit is INSANE.
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
It can be used to deodorise your carpets. Sprinkle on carpets, leave for a few minutes then vacuum.
Put a small amount in the fridge to take away odours.
Clean stained tea/coffee cups - add to a damp cloth and scrub.
Freshen sink by slowly pouring in half a cup of bicarb down the sink with warm water.
Remove oil stains from driveway
Add to laundry.
Put in bath to give your skin feeling silky smooth.
And I suppose brush your teeth
My mother used to use vinegar and newspaper to clean windows and mop floors.
How's that?
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
My mum used to use bicarb soda to help her burb.
And I recently used bicarb with red vinegar to simulate an erupting volcano....the kids thought it was great.
Love & stuff
Mrs M