Mrs M
yoda76"They" say NEVER work with children or animals!
November 30th 2006 02:16
So they say never work with children or animals. Now I have always doubted the validity of "they" but this time "they" might just have been right.
You see I volunteered my services at my son's preschool to make a short film with the children. The children come up with the story and I write the screenplay. The children would make the set, costume and each child would play a part. I would film and edit this masterpiece. Sounds like a simple enough plan.
My husband chuckled when I told him. Well obviously production values aren't going to be the greatest but it will work. I was confident of it. What could really go wrong?
Let's start at the top.
The children came up with a story about princesses, princes, horses, dragons and a giant mean king whose fate is to be put in a giant bucket while everyone else danced around him, pointing their fingers and laughing at him. Oooh preschoolers can be mean!
Well that was easy enough. Done.
Filming commences. This is where the calamity of errors begin. Reliable husband not so reliable - no tripod. Fine, change tack - all will be funky hand held stuff.
Sound - well children just don't understand "Quiet on the set". All I have are camera mikes. Foolish me thought it would be fine. I'll just get the kids to annunciate every syllable in a loud voice. It will be part of the charm. But somehow preschoolers cannot distinguish between how fast they say something with how loud they say it. It seems the louder they spoke, the faster they spoke. The slower they spoke, the softer they spoke.
Next, lighting - again for the sake of convenience I thought I would use natural light. Straining my brain back to my uni days I suddenly remembered something about white balances and reflectors. Bugger it, everyone can look uniformly green.
I really am ill prepared. At this point I confirm what I have always known - I'm not a director - or a cinematographer.
Next, action. Hang on, someone is crying. One of the horses doesn't want to be a horse anymore - he's had enough. As this poor little boy is being comforted by one of the teachers, the rest start "horsing" around. (That joke is probably not very funny - okay not a director, cinematographer or a comedian).
Finally, everyone is settled and into position for the first take. Camera rolling. Action. And....nothing. All the children just stand there. "Okay princes, just hop off the horses and walk over there".
Prince number 1 does as he is asked and just as he arrives to designated spot he asks, "Over here?"
Prince number 2 comes into frame and he says "No a bit further otherwise I don't fit".
Well I ask you, what do you do with that? Try, try again? I'll let you know how we go tomorrow.
You see I volunteered my services at my son's preschool to make a short film with the children. The children come up with the story and I write the screenplay. The children would make the set, costume and each child would play a part. I would film and edit this masterpiece. Sounds like a simple enough plan.
My husband chuckled when I told him. Well obviously production values aren't going to be the greatest but it will work. I was confident of it. What could really go wrong?
Let's start at the top.
The children came up with a story about princesses, princes, horses, dragons and a giant mean king whose fate is to be put in a giant bucket while everyone else danced around him, pointing their fingers and laughing at him. Oooh preschoolers can be mean!
Well that was easy enough. Done.
Filming commences. This is where the calamity of errors begin. Reliable husband not so reliable - no tripod. Fine, change tack - all will be funky hand held stuff.
Sound - well children just don't understand "Quiet on the set". All I have are camera mikes. Foolish me thought it would be fine. I'll just get the kids to annunciate every syllable in a loud voice. It will be part of the charm. But somehow preschoolers cannot distinguish between how fast they say something with how loud they say it. It seems the louder they spoke, the faster they spoke. The slower they spoke, the softer they spoke.
Next, lighting - again for the sake of convenience I thought I would use natural light. Straining my brain back to my uni days I suddenly remembered something about white balances and reflectors. Bugger it, everyone can look uniformly green.
I really am ill prepared. At this point I confirm what I have always known - I'm not a director - or a cinematographer.
Next, action. Hang on, someone is crying. One of the horses doesn't want to be a horse anymore - he's had enough. As this poor little boy is being comforted by one of the teachers, the rest start "horsing" around. (That joke is probably not very funny - okay not a director, cinematographer or a comedian).
Finally, everyone is settled and into position for the first take. Camera rolling. Action. And....nothing. All the children just stand there. "Okay princes, just hop off the horses and walk over there".
Prince number 1 does as he is asked and just as he arrives to designated spot he asks, "Over here?"
Prince number 2 comes into frame and he says "No a bit further otherwise I don't fit".
Well I ask you, what do you do with that? Try, try again? I'll let you know how we go tomorrow.
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Comment by katyzzz
Photography Tips
MS Paint Art
We all have our one moment of glory, guess this is yours, boy, did you take on a task, ever heard of the attention span of young children and not many like the camera, except the odd screwball who wants to run the show, no, not you, the preschooler, you've certainly got some competition there.
Good luck with it all, as they always say when they think you have absolutely no chance at all.
I found it hard to find you. You suddenly popped out at me. This numbers game is a little distasteful really.
Hugs and stuff, loves ya and leaves ya! Soldier on!
katyzzz
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
I post most of my stuff in lifestyle section now. There is a parent subsection there.
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by Lilla
From The Home Front
Enviro Warrior
Dream Herald
Esoteric Bookshop
I haven't stopped by to write before but felt I should say hi this time as this anecdote cracked me up... I'm so sorry but it is one of those classic stories that you look back on in years to come and laugh your head off... probably whilst telling your grandchildren... *still l-ing ol*
Thanks for sharing and good luck...
I just know you will make good in this one, it is full of life!
Lilla...
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
Yeah I'm hoping after it is all said and done we can kick back and say, "That wasn't so hard".
Admittedly I was laughing too because the alternative is to cry and I don't think you can do that in front of preschoolers.
Thanks for visiting.
Love & stuff
Mrs M