Mrs M
yoda76DO YOU THINK SHE’LL BELIEVE US?
March 15th 2007 01:27
This morning my daughter’s goldfish died. This is the second one in two weeks. We’re obviously doing something wrong.
Luckily “cuddly” died after my daughter went to school – at least she will be spared the pain until after school.
“I don’t want to go through that again” said Mr M. “She really took it hard last time”.
So what do we do?
“Let’s go back to the fish shop, ask for some advice and buy another “cuddly”. She’ll never know”, says Mr M excitedly. “I was reading on the internet last night that you shouldn’t buy goldfish with any distinguishing features – that way they can be easily ‘replaced’”.
Is that ethical? Is that really in the best interests of my daughter? Because ‘everyone else is doing it’? Is my daughter really going to think that the new fish is actually “cuddly”?
…..Let’s give it a shot. What do we have to lose?
But we have to somehow keep our 3 year old from discovering our plan. Will he be easily fooled?
“Dad, why are you taking cuddly out of the tank?” he asked suspiciously.
“Just taking cuddly to the doctor - she’s a bit sick”, Mr M said….convincingly.
“Okay. Mum can I have something to eat?”
Alright, we’ve managed to outsmart the 3 year old. Clever us.
Let’s see if my daughter can be fooled as easily.
Luckily “cuddly” died after my daughter went to school – at least she will be spared the pain until after school.
“I don’t want to go through that again” said Mr M. “She really took it hard last time”.
So what do we do?
“Let’s go back to the fish shop, ask for some advice and buy another “cuddly”. She’ll never know”, says Mr M excitedly. “I was reading on the internet last night that you shouldn’t buy goldfish with any distinguishing features – that way they can be easily ‘replaced’”.
Is that ethical? Is that really in the best interests of my daughter? Because ‘everyone else is doing it’? Is my daughter really going to think that the new fish is actually “cuddly”?
…..Let’s give it a shot. What do we have to lose?
But we have to somehow keep our 3 year old from discovering our plan. Will he be easily fooled?
“Dad, why are you taking cuddly out of the tank?” he asked suspiciously.
“Just taking cuddly to the doctor - she’s a bit sick”, Mr M said….convincingly.
“Okay. Mum can I have something to eat?”
Alright, we’ve managed to outsmart the 3 year old. Clever us.
Let’s see if my daughter can be fooled as easily.
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Comment by Candice
When I was a kid we had a budgie. It hadn't been well for a long time. Dad looked after it for us while we went on holiday for a short time but it died during that time. Rather than tell us about it he just replaced it and the new one was sitting in the cage when we came back. We (my sister and I) were really upset and angry about it. Admittedly, the budgie was more distinct, so differences are easier to pick. Also, we were quite a bit older than your kids, but I would have preferred to just be told the truth at the time.
I hope that's helpful in making your decision, if you haven't already. Pets dying, though it's difficult, is part of caring and having them I think. It can also be helpful for kids to begin to understand the cycle of life?
I'm not saying what you should do, but seeing you asked, that would be my thoughts. I hope it's useful to you.
Also, my fish (all 5) died once too after we changed the water. The pet shop assistant told me that there was more chlorine than usual in the water, which sometimes happens, and that's what killed the fish. We got an air filter installed to help with this and the next lot were fine. That may also be helpful - the pet shop may have more advice too.
Comment by DuskDevi
Rugby World Cup 2007
Easier said than done...so bravo!
As for ethical?
Ohhhh...hmmm...it's not like she won't grow up and find out that the Easter Bunny is not real...although my 22yo still swears he saw the Bunny in the backyard...there's plenty of time to find out the harsher realities of life. Death being one of them.
Tip:
Never ever get Siamese Fighting Fish.
Pretty they may be but damn...
Having to explain why Mr Walker kept changing colours every few months...
(they don't like cold water)
We now just keep memories.
Hope you are well Mrs M....and good luck with Cuddly mk 2...!
Dusk
Comment by yoda76
The Tube Blog
"Cuddly looks a different color, and smaller..."
"Er... it's because she's been sick, sweetie..."
Luckily the new FILTERED tank, and Cuddly's new playmate Thomas were sufficient distraction!
Like any good parent, I have successfully underestimated my child!!
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
I agree. Which is why when the first one died we didn't hide it but to have another die so soon....it's a hard decision.
But we also noticed that both fish died soon after we changed the water.
Bless the pet shop man who helped us out today. Hopefully this new fish will have a longer life.
Hi Dusk,
Bloody hilarious.
Memories don't die...that just fade. Far more humane.
yoda76,
Job well done!
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by MelissaA
Fun Facts
Comment by Candice
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
She didn't miss a beat. She looked at it for 3 seconds before she said 'it looks different'. She didn't sound upset, just curious.
We managed to convince her in the end.
Hi Candice,
Thanks for the well wishes. We got some good advice from the guy at the pet shop so we should be right....hopefully
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by Kleonaptra
Kalikapsychosis
The childs response?
"Well, if you thought it was going to die, why did you let it suffer? Why didnt you cut its head off mum?"
Aaah, the wisdom of a child......
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
I don't feel good about being less than truthful, I'm just not sure how many dead pets my daughter can take in 2 weeks.
I remember when I was 8 my cat got run over - and I found it stone cold dead on the side of the road. I even when and touched him and his was already stiff. I cried for days and days.
I know that pets are good for children; I even appreciate that children who have a pet that dies learn to cope with death a lot better in their adult life but between her sensitive side and my memories I just couldn't go through that again - in just 2 short weeks.
That's great. Doesn't seem very humane - but you're right....kids have a way.
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by Kleonaptra
Kalikapsychosis
I have never recovered from seeing our big cat Clyde killed when I was about 4. The guy next door set his two german shepards on him right in from of us, and he was literally torn to shreds. A few weeks later we lost our persian, she got hit by a motorbike. At least the guy brought her home with apologies. When I was about 14 I sort of adopted next doors cat - they werent feeding him enough - and ended up seeing him ripped apart by a rottweiler. I have a hatred of large dogs now, and my three kittys do not, ever, under any circumstances, go outside. I work on suppresing their natural instincts and they dont miss what they never had. Each time I was only micro seconds too late and I will never let it happen again.
I tend to agree that 3 is too young to deal with successive deaths, well done for getting an extra fish for distraction value! Maybe if she was a bit older you could have explained chlorine and water ager, but yeah, I might just have done the same thing.
Im feeling particularly loved at the moment - My friend brought her twins over yesterday, the boy (Jarrod) is really shy, never talks or moves, and yesterday we were playing ball, having cuddles, playing with horsey, kitty, birdie, he didnt want to go home! They will be three at the end of the year - theyre so big! When it came time to go home he wrapped his tiny arms around me - "Want to stay with auntie K! want to play with cat and birdie!" Even once settled in the car he was calling out "bye bye! come back soon!" I felt so special that he came out of his shell for me, Ive never seen anything so cute.