Mrs M
yoda76I AM THE PROUD OWNER OF A LARGE FAMILY
December 24th 2009 01:50
I don’t know what that means; large family. Other than the literal meaning of
of more than average size, quantity, degree, etc.; exceeding that which is common to a kind or class; big; great:
The last definition, great, is apt. It is great, as in fantastic, to have a large family; and great, as in large in number when you compare it to the birth rate of most developed countries.
A popular question directed at me when I announced my 4th pregnancy, “was it planned?” I kind of get the impression the question that was actually being asked of me is “was this planned madness?”
Are there negative connotations to having a large family? Am I being paranoid? It just seems to be a talking point that I have 4 kids. Why is 4 such a special number?
You want special numbers, Mr M’s two sisters have families reaching double digits. So compared to them I’m still small fry.
General consensus is large families have 4 or more children.
The Australian Government says you’re a large family when you have 3 children. It was reflected my Family Assistance Office payments; I receive the Large Family supplement.
Peter Costello suggested we have one for the mother, one for the father and one for the country.
Well I had one for me, one for Mr M, one for the country, and one spare in case there was a dud. Are you buying that?
I have a family friend who told me once that families should be based on logical reason. You have one child because the parents want one; and then you have second child to keep the first child occupied.
I have another family friend who looked at it from an economical view; he said he wouldn’t have any more than 2 kids because family holiday packages aren’t set up for 3 kids.
I have to agree, it is a tad little bit limiting when trying to book accommodation. I’m also a tad, little bit limited in the car department too.
Most people who grew up in a large family tend to look on those times with fondness.
Most I’ve asked have said that they like the idea of a large family but financial or personal constraints are limiting them.
But while it may seem that having 4 children is in the minority, is it possible that the trend to go on and have 3 or 4 children could pick up speed?
Let’s look at some pros and cons.
The media has reported on numerous occasions that metropolitan cities like Sydney could not possibly cope with a substantial population increase. Sydney, it would seem, simply does not have the infrastructure in place. But if Australia is below the 2.1 replacement birth rate, then population increases surely then depend on migration.
Environmentally it is not a sound decision. Perhaps. I wonder if environmental impact has less to do with the number of people we have and more with how we live and treat this planet.
Economically and financially…well… while it has been reported that raising 1 child costs $1 million, I put it to you that 4 children will not cost $4 million. Clothes can be reused, as can major furniture items. Discounts are usually offered to siblings for school fees. I even get a discount for their swimming lessons.
The biggy is lost wages for the stay at home parent. Well while the SAHP will lose earnings, it’s not multiplied by each child; time out of the work force is extended by the age gap of the children, not an entire lifetime.
More children means more taxes to help sustain the ageing population.
There was a mini baby boom in 2008 with almost 300,000 babies being born taking the fertility rate to its highest level in 31 years (Women delivering more bundles of economic joysmh.com.au, 18 November 2009).
Why the boom?
Are women deciding to have children earlier? And therefore having more children?
According the abovementioned smh.com.au article women are having children earlier, because they’ve heeded the warnings about leaving it too late.
So we are having children earlier, just not more of them. So having 4 children is still out of the ordinary. So this sudden boom might just be a blip and birth rates will plateau as opposed to continually increasing.
I asked Mr M how he felt being the father of a large family. He looked up at me and asked “Am I?”
He thought about it for a minute and said, “It’s kinda cool, but it’s tough. Lots of responsibility”.
A good friend of mine has 4 children and I asked her if she is bombarded with comments.
So, I am a very proud owner of a large family. I am not an extraordinary person or earn a small fortune. It may not be easy raising 4 children, but it’s definitely not as hard as your think.
of more than average size, quantity, degree, etc.; exceeding that which is common to a kind or class; big; great:
The last definition, great, is apt. It is great, as in fantastic, to have a large family; and great, as in large in number when you compare it to the birth rate of most developed countries.
A popular question directed at me when I announced my 4th pregnancy, “was it planned?” I kind of get the impression the question that was actually being asked of me is “was this planned madness?”
Are there negative connotations to having a large family? Am I being paranoid? It just seems to be a talking point that I have 4 kids. Why is 4 such a special number?
You want special numbers, Mr M’s two sisters have families reaching double digits. So compared to them I’m still small fry.
General consensus is large families have 4 or more children.
The Australian Government says you’re a large family when you have 3 children. It was reflected my Family Assistance Office payments; I receive the Large Family supplement.
Peter Costello suggested we have one for the mother, one for the father and one for the country.
Well I had one for me, one for Mr M, one for the country, and one spare in case there was a dud. Are you buying that?
I have a family friend who told me once that families should be based on logical reason. You have one child because the parents want one; and then you have second child to keep the first child occupied.
I have another family friend who looked at it from an economical view; he said he wouldn’t have any more than 2 kids because family holiday packages aren’t set up for 3 kids.
I have to agree, it is a tad little bit limiting when trying to book accommodation. I’m also a tad, little bit limited in the car department too.
Most people who grew up in a large family tend to look on those times with fondness.
Most I’ve asked have said that they like the idea of a large family but financial or personal constraints are limiting them.
But while it may seem that having 4 children is in the minority, is it possible that the trend to go on and have 3 or 4 children could pick up speed?
Let’s look at some pros and cons.
The media has reported on numerous occasions that metropolitan cities like Sydney could not possibly cope with a substantial population increase. Sydney, it would seem, simply does not have the infrastructure in place. But if Australia is below the 2.1 replacement birth rate, then population increases surely then depend on migration.
Environmentally it is not a sound decision. Perhaps. I wonder if environmental impact has less to do with the number of people we have and more with how we live and treat this planet.
Economically and financially…well… while it has been reported that raising 1 child costs $1 million, I put it to you that 4 children will not cost $4 million. Clothes can be reused, as can major furniture items. Discounts are usually offered to siblings for school fees. I even get a discount for their swimming lessons.
The biggy is lost wages for the stay at home parent. Well while the SAHP will lose earnings, it’s not multiplied by each child; time out of the work force is extended by the age gap of the children, not an entire lifetime.
More children means more taxes to help sustain the ageing population.
There was a mini baby boom in 2008 with almost 300,000 babies being born taking the fertility rate to its highest level in 31 years (Women delivering more bundles of economic joysmh.com.au, 18 November 2009).
Why the boom?
Are women deciding to have children earlier? And therefore having more children?
According the abovementioned smh.com.au article women are having children earlier, because they’ve heeded the warnings about leaving it too late.
According to the demographers, the arithmetic explanation is not that parents are deciding to have more kids, but that they're deciding not to leave it so late to get started on a family. It's changes in the timing of child-bearing that do most to influence the annual fertility rate.”
If so, the trend to earlier starts may lead to more children being born because fewer women find they've left it too late to fit in a second kid. (The median age of women having children is now 30.8 years.)
For decades, surveys of young women have shown that the great majority of them intend to have two kids. About one in five say they don't intend to have kids, but these are offset by the small number saying they'd like to have more than two. This finding implies that what varies is not couples' views on the desirable number of kids, but the context in which they find themselves, particularly their economic context.
If so, the trend to earlier starts may lead to more children being born because fewer women find they've left it too late to fit in a second kid. (The median age of women having children is now 30.8 years.)
For decades, surveys of young women have shown that the great majority of them intend to have two kids. About one in five say they don't intend to have kids, but these are offset by the small number saying they'd like to have more than two. This finding implies that what varies is not couples' views on the desirable number of kids, but the context in which they find themselves, particularly their economic context.
So we are having children earlier, just not more of them. So having 4 children is still out of the ordinary. So this sudden boom might just be a blip and birth rates will plateau as opposed to continually increasing.
I asked Mr M how he felt being the father of a large family. He looked up at me and asked “Am I?”
He thought about it for a minute and said, “It’s kinda cool, but it’s tough. Lots of responsibility”.
A good friend of mine has 4 children and I asked her if she is bombarded with comments.
“All the bloody time! It’s always a look of bewilderment - as if saying my god how could you!!! I think its a combination of actually having more than the norm of two or three and how one manages to look after them as well as those who see it from a financial view -'doesn't that cripple you ...'
I feel overwhelmed at times, but it’s only when things get the better of you and I wouldn't have it any other way!!”
I feel overwhelmed at times, but it’s only when things get the better of you and I wouldn't have it any other way!!”
So, I am a very proud owner of a large family. I am not an extraordinary person or earn a small fortune. It may not be easy raising 4 children, but it’s definitely not as hard as your think.
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Comment by Candice
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
I've had comments about having 3 boys and my poor daughter doesn't have a sister.
I generally take no notice but every now and again I feel like bopping someone.
I agree that we have families today for very different reasons compared to generations before.
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by Parenting-Tips
The financial aspect doesn't worry me as much because a great childhood doesn't mean many holidays, fancy clothes and toys.
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
Good luck with the birth of your 3rd child. I actually find the adjustment of having a new baby becomes easier with every new addition.
I also found with every new addition to our family I spent less on things that I thought were necessary with our first baby.
For example, I don't need a special towel to throw over my shoulder to burb the baby; any old face washer will do.
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by Lachy
Great post. The economy of scale thing is something a lot of us don't really get.
I think one potentially comforting thought is that many people are really expressing admiration in their reaction to parents with lots of kids. They know raising kids requires a lot, and are really admitting they don't think they have what it takes to do it on a larger scale. So take their astonishment as a compliment
For me, its about how much I can give to each child. I'd rather give one kid all the love, attention, and material support it needs, rather than giving two kids three quarters of what they need, and driving myself (and them) to unhappiness as a result. For you, this doesn't seem to be an issue, because you have your head screwed on straight, an you are focussed on how to do it well. I just don't think I'm as good at you at those things (I'm an absent minded dreamer), so it makes sense for me to quit while I'm ahead...
That said, you never know!
Lach
Comment by Lachy
Great post. The economy of scale thing is something a lot of us don't really get.
I think one potentially comforting thought is that many people are really expressing admiration in their reaction to parents with lots of kids. They know raising kids requires a lot, and are really admitting they don't think they have what it takes to do it on a larger scale. So take their astonishment as a compliment
For me, its about how much I can give to each child. I'd rather give one kid all the love, attention, and material support it needs, rather than giving two kids three quarters of what they need, and driving myself (and them) to unhappiness as a result. For you, this doesn't seem to be an issue, because you have your head screwed on straight, an you are focussed on how to do it well. I just don't think I'm as good at you at those things (I'm an absent minded dreamer), so it makes sense for me to quit while I'm ahead...
That said, you never know!
Lach
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
For me, its about how much I can give to each child.
It's really interesting that you say that. I've been thinking about this a lot lately and that statement really is about the parent's perspective.
I asked one of Enzo's many nieces who actually said to me something to the effect of 'who determines what is enough time and who said time spent together had to be one on one. Just because I spend time with my mum as part of a group, I've still spent time with my mum.'
But there is another niece who thinks being one of many just sux (at times)
This parenting caper really is a roll of the dice.
As for me, the pay off of having 4 kids is watching them develop relationships with each other independent of me.
It's very satisfying to watch.
So much more to say...
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by Kleonaptra
Kalikapsychosis
That would be why we are planning to move to SA. Cant wait to get out of this crowded place!
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
Country SA or Adelaide?
I have family in Adelaide and it is a very relaxed city. I can see why you would want to raise a family there.
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by Kleonaptra
Kalikapsychosis
Oh, Really? Got it all worked out huh?