Mrs M
yoda76MATES AT SCHOOL GATES
May 8th 2008 02:58
Here's another one of my articles that was published in the February 2008 edition of the "Child' Publications.
Enjoy!
This year my son, the second of my three children, will start school. There will be no tears from me...I hope. No nervousness from him...I hope. The poor little bugger has been watching his sister go to school for two years now and he’s been dying to join the ranks.
He knows the school and he knows the teachers; in no time he’ll know the children. But will I know the mums?
When my daughter started school I had a clean slate. I was itching to get going and ready to be anybody’s and everybody’s friend. And that’s exactly what I did. I made friends left, right and centre. First I met Gina; her son was in my daughter’s class. Gina invited me over for a play date one afternoon. There I met Barbara. Her daughter Emily was also in my daughter’s class. The two girls became firm friends; and so did Barbara and I.
Barbara introduced me to Liz and the four of us began to ‘hang around’.
In the frenzy of this entire friend making endeavour my daughter made another friend, Maya. Maya’s parents introduced themselves to me one day and we have been friends ever since; inviting each other over for weekend barbeques; going out to the movies and attending birthday celebrations.
Before I could say “I wonder if I’ll make any more friends here”, I could safely add Lisa, Amanda, Annette, Georgina, Linda, Alex, Lindsay, Marlies, Diane, Lee, Rebecca, Wei, Carolina, Ela, and the list of friends goes on and on.
I’m very happy with this tribe of school mums. We get on fabulously well, chatting in the school playground everyday and often organize play dates during school holidays to catch up. And I’m not shy to say that it’s not for benefit of the children. Well, maybe a little but not entirely.
Even the owners of the local pub are accustomed to our end of term pub night where we congratulate ourselves for successfully navigating our way through another term with a night of celebratory drinks.
For the last two years while I have been busy making my own friends and pretty much dragging my daughter and other two children along for the ride, I didn’t really consider what would happen when my other children started school. Am I expected to show the same enthusiasm when my son starts school this year?
To be honest, my calendar is already full. As a social being I do have my limitations. No doubt, my son will make friends and play dates will be arranged, but do I have the time or inclination to pursue new friendships with a new bunch of mums? Will the old group of mums understand? Will they get jealous? Will they still include me in the group? Will they carry on without me?
Maybe I’m getting carried away here. We are talking about a group of reasonable adults.
But what if the new group mums and the old group mums organize a park play date for the same time? Worse still, a pub night on the same night? Okay, that one might not be so bad…if it’s the same pub.
But let’s get back to the problem at hand. Will my son really notice if I don’t ‘hang around’ his friends’ mums as often or as regularly? Will he need therapy for this in his adult life?
And what do I do when my third child starts school? Oh my goodness, it is almost too much to bear.
There has to be a resolution. Obviously, I’m not the first mum to have more than one child attend school and I certainly won’t be the last. I know I like meeting new people; you never know the kind of friends you might make. The group of mums I met two years ago is testament to that. So I suppose the answer is staring me square in the face.
On the first day of school, when my son takes his first walk up into his classroom I will turn to the mum next to me and introduce myself. We’ll go into the school hall, grab a tissue along the way and have a cup tea. I’ll wave to the old group of mums and tell them I’ll catch up with them tomorrow.
Enjoy!
This year my son, the second of my three children, will start school. There will be no tears from me...I hope. No nervousness from him...I hope. The poor little bugger has been watching his sister go to school for two years now and he’s been dying to join the ranks.
He knows the school and he knows the teachers; in no time he’ll know the children. But will I know the mums?
When my daughter started school I had a clean slate. I was itching to get going and ready to be anybody’s and everybody’s friend. And that’s exactly what I did. I made friends left, right and centre. First I met Gina; her son was in my daughter’s class. Gina invited me over for a play date one afternoon. There I met Barbara. Her daughter Emily was also in my daughter’s class. The two girls became firm friends; and so did Barbara and I.
Barbara introduced me to Liz and the four of us began to ‘hang around’.
In the frenzy of this entire friend making endeavour my daughter made another friend, Maya. Maya’s parents introduced themselves to me one day and we have been friends ever since; inviting each other over for weekend barbeques; going out to the movies and attending birthday celebrations.
Before I could say “I wonder if I’ll make any more friends here”, I could safely add Lisa, Amanda, Annette, Georgina, Linda, Alex, Lindsay, Marlies, Diane, Lee, Rebecca, Wei, Carolina, Ela, and the list of friends goes on and on.
I’m very happy with this tribe of school mums. We get on fabulously well, chatting in the school playground everyday and often organize play dates during school holidays to catch up. And I’m not shy to say that it’s not for benefit of the children. Well, maybe a little but not entirely.
Even the owners of the local pub are accustomed to our end of term pub night where we congratulate ourselves for successfully navigating our way through another term with a night of celebratory drinks.
For the last two years while I have been busy making my own friends and pretty much dragging my daughter and other two children along for the ride, I didn’t really consider what would happen when my other children started school. Am I expected to show the same enthusiasm when my son starts school this year?
To be honest, my calendar is already full. As a social being I do have my limitations. No doubt, my son will make friends and play dates will be arranged, but do I have the time or inclination to pursue new friendships with a new bunch of mums? Will the old group of mums understand? Will they get jealous? Will they still include me in the group? Will they carry on without me?
Maybe I’m getting carried away here. We are talking about a group of reasonable adults.
But what if the new group mums and the old group mums organize a park play date for the same time? Worse still, a pub night on the same night? Okay, that one might not be so bad…if it’s the same pub.
But let’s get back to the problem at hand. Will my son really notice if I don’t ‘hang around’ his friends’ mums as often or as regularly? Will he need therapy for this in his adult life?
And what do I do when my third child starts school? Oh my goodness, it is almost too much to bear.
There has to be a resolution. Obviously, I’m not the first mum to have more than one child attend school and I certainly won’t be the last. I know I like meeting new people; you never know the kind of friends you might make. The group of mums I met two years ago is testament to that. So I suppose the answer is staring me square in the face.
On the first day of school, when my son takes his first walk up into his classroom I will turn to the mum next to me and introduce myself. We’ll go into the school hall, grab a tissue along the way and have a cup tea. I’ll wave to the old group of mums and tell them I’ll catch up with them tomorrow.
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Comment by yoda76
The Tube Blog
Comment by samaritan
Samaritan's Stories
Samaritan
Comment by Michaelie
Flick Wit
Do you think you will be friends with them in the future, even if your respective children grow apart, or are the friendships held together by the fact that they collectively form a kind of support network?
My mum was friends with all the other mums when I was growing up, but I doubt she has seen any of them in the last fifteen years or so. And I remember things got a bit tense with one mum she had previously considered a genuine friend when the other mother's daughter and I had a falling out. I suppose their friendship was still connected in some way to ours.
Hope you're well, Mrs M.
Michaelie
Comment by yoda76
The Tube Blog
Perhaps they're not the type to go jumping in puddles and playing chasings?
Comment by tlcorbin
Raven
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
Hi Samaritan,
That's not right. What's wrong with you? What's wrong with them?
It's good to hear your kids are making friends okay. But even I've come across some mum's that don't much of an effort, generally I don't bother with them.
Hi Michaelie,
There's a couple of mum's that I'm pretty sure I'll still be friends with. In fact, with one of the mums, our daughters don't get on very well anymore and we don't see each other every afternoon like we did, but our friendship is still as strong....do you know what I mean?
But there are a lot of mums that the only link to our friendship is that our children go to school there. Which is fine. But they are a great bunch of women.
One of the kids has been diagnosed with Burkitt's Lymphoma and nobody thought twice about rallying around to help. We've put together a big package full of presents. We're taking turns cooking dinners for the family, we make sure someone vists everyday and stuff like that.
We may not be the best of friends, I don't share my deepest darkest secrets with them, but they're all just good people.
Anyways...... I think I just wrote another post.
Hi Raven,
Mumness indeed
Thanks everyone for the comments and visit.
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by Michaelie
Flick Wit
And it sounds like from the support network side of the friendships, you are part of a good thing.
No self-obsessed Gucci Mamas there!
Comment by D. Armenta
The Florida Keys and Everglades
The Black Sheep Chronicles
What constitutes bad manners?
The male mystique
Debate Fan
L.A.M.P.
Goodness, what a social butterfly you are
Comment by Miswanderlust
Killer Beats
Ramble On
Hipnotherapy
Congrats on having this article published. Very exciting indeed. I am guessing that all of this will sort itself out. I wish more moms would hook up with the mom to mom network. I don't know what I would have done without it. Some of the moms I met when my son was in Preschool are stil friends of mine today (as our kids graduate from college!)
Cheers to you....you funny gal you! Always a pleasure.
Mis
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
Thanks for your kind comment.
I absolutely agree that there should be more mum networking. I know they say that family is the most important but I have been bailed out by my mum friends so many times. Pick up the kids from school because the other is sick, bringing me milk because I can't get out of the house with 3 sick kids etc etc.
But more importantly there have been a couple of sick kids these last few months and one mum came up with the idea that we all buy something small and put it all together and give these sick kids some new toys. As soon as the suggestion went out, every mum chipped in straight away. It's nice to be a part of a good group of people.
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by Sara Dobson
My Turn
Maybe there is something wrong with me?
Comment by Kleonaptra
Kalikapsychosis
No such animal!
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
I used to attend a playgroup only because my sister-in-law was there. But I didn't really get on with the other mums there. They were nice enough, I just had nothing in common with them.
There's nothing wrong with you
Hi Kleo.
Very funny!
Love & stuff
Mrs M