Mrs M
yoda76JUST ONE MORE THING TO STRESS ABOUT
December 5th 2007 02:59
So it would appear that a mother’s stress levels will impact their children’s stress levels. Excellent. I love hearing good news like that.
On the smh.com.au website over the weekend there was an articlarticlee stating that “young children are twice as likely to develop serious emotional and behavioural problems if their mothers lack job satisfaction, Australian research has found.”
The article says that “mothers were questioned about the quality of their jobs based on access to paid personal, family and maternity leave, as well as flexibility over start and finish times, perceived job security and feeling of control over their work.”
“A quarter of children with mothers in the poorest quality jobs had such problems, compared with 12 per cent of those in the best quality posts.”
Coming across this article is rather timely for me; you see 2 weeks ago I took a part-time job. My reasons include:-
1. the need/desire to earn some money
2. the need/desire to get back into the paid workforce
3. the need/desire to kick start my CV again
Now this job is almost perfect. It
1. Meets my above requirements
2. Has flexible working hours
3. I mostly work from home
4. Pay is quite reasonable
5. The woman I report to is quite nice and reasonable
6. Doesn’t require too much of my brain power
However…..it is the sort of job I USED when I first started working. The job description doesn’t even come close to matching my last full time job before the kiddies came along. But to be honest, I don’t think I could pick up from where I left off. Not because I don’t have the smarts for it, I don’t have the ambition for it.
But (again), I don’t think that I could remain in my current position for the next few years. I would get bored, without a doubt. It is satisfying me now, but this is definitely not a long term career path.
So what’s the answer? Who is responsible for me to be satisfied in my work? Me? The government? Business community? All three?
Now I shouldn’t complain because I know some people who don’t have it as good as I do. There are people who don’t have the option of flexible working conditions that I have. There has been a shift towards ‘family friendly’ work places but has enough been done?
I know of another mother who is unsatisfied in her current position but the flexibility she has is invaluable when you have a family; sick kids, assemblies, carnivals. As parents, we all agree that these things are more important than work, but how many of us are willing to call in sick, or use another annual leave day? This mother’s dilemmas are stay in her current position (bored) or find another job (a little more stimulating) where she might have to give up some important days.
I’ve had a few people say to me that no-one on their death bed has ever wished they worked harder or longer hours. True, but I quite enjoy living above the poverty line so work is a bit of a necessity.
But I need to rationalize within myself what makes me happy. The truth is I can’t have it all. I can’t have the high powered job that I used to have without added stress (more stress is not on my list), and I can’t have the assistant job without eventually getting bored.
Is it possible to job share a high powered job?
Job/work/life balance and satisfaction is vital for a healthy state of mind but nobody else is going to give me that satisfaction. There are only so many things external forces can do but it really is up to every individual to create their own satisfaction.
So at some point we just need to suck it up and BE HAPPY….otherwise my hard earned cash will go to some therapist that tell me my children are unhappy because I’m unhappy. And that definitely won’t make me happy.
On the smh.com.au website over the weekend there was an articlarticlee stating that “young children are twice as likely to develop serious emotional and behavioural problems if their mothers lack job satisfaction, Australian research has found.”
The article says that “mothers were questioned about the quality of their jobs based on access to paid personal, family and maternity leave, as well as flexibility over start and finish times, perceived job security and feeling of control over their work.”
“A quarter of children with mothers in the poorest quality jobs had such problems, compared with 12 per cent of those in the best quality posts.”
Coming across this article is rather timely for me; you see 2 weeks ago I took a part-time job. My reasons include:-
1. the need/desire to earn some money
2. the need/desire to get back into the paid workforce
3. the need/desire to kick start my CV again
Now this job is almost perfect. It
1. Meets my above requirements
2. Has flexible working hours
3. I mostly work from home
4. Pay is quite reasonable
5. The woman I report to is quite nice and reasonable
6. Doesn’t require too much of my brain power
However…..it is the sort of job I USED when I first started working. The job description doesn’t even come close to matching my last full time job before the kiddies came along. But to be honest, I don’t think I could pick up from where I left off. Not because I don’t have the smarts for it, I don’t have the ambition for it.
But (again), I don’t think that I could remain in my current position for the next few years. I would get bored, without a doubt. It is satisfying me now, but this is definitely not a long term career path.
So what’s the answer? Who is responsible for me to be satisfied in my work? Me? The government? Business community? All three?
Now I shouldn’t complain because I know some people who don’t have it as good as I do. There are people who don’t have the option of flexible working conditions that I have. There has been a shift towards ‘family friendly’ work places but has enough been done?
I know of another mother who is unsatisfied in her current position but the flexibility she has is invaluable when you have a family; sick kids, assemblies, carnivals. As parents, we all agree that these things are more important than work, but how many of us are willing to call in sick, or use another annual leave day? This mother’s dilemmas are stay in her current position (bored) or find another job (a little more stimulating) where she might have to give up some important days.
I’ve had a few people say to me that no-one on their death bed has ever wished they worked harder or longer hours. True, but I quite enjoy living above the poverty line so work is a bit of a necessity.
But I need to rationalize within myself what makes me happy. The truth is I can’t have it all. I can’t have the high powered job that I used to have without added stress (more stress is not on my list), and I can’t have the assistant job without eventually getting bored.
Is it possible to job share a high powered job?
Job/work/life balance and satisfaction is vital for a healthy state of mind but nobody else is going to give me that satisfaction. There are only so many things external forces can do but it really is up to every individual to create their own satisfaction.
So at some point we just need to suck it up and BE HAPPY….otherwise my hard earned cash will go to some therapist that tell me my children are unhappy because I’m unhappy. And that definitely won’t make me happy.
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Comment by yoda76
The Tube Blog
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by Michaelie
Flick Wit
As to stress: I STILL respond with my own anxiety to my mother's increased stress levels - even from interstate!
Michaelie
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
I STILL respond with my own anxiety to my mother's increased stress levels - even from interstate!
Mother's have wonderful abilities don't they?
I agree that with today's 24/7 lifestyle, balance is like the holy grail; with or without a family.
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by Rose
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
Sorry it has taken me so long to get back to you.
I definitely think it's worth sacrificing career, I know it's the right decision for me.
Having been reintroduced back to the workforce over the last few weeks I think to myself "did I really want to come back to this?" LOL. I've forgotten all the office politics that goes on...I certainly don't miss that.
However, I always support women who want to work because they're the ones that are at the forefront to keep the discussion of family friendly workplaces going. Without them, I wouldn't have had the choice of working from home that I do now, which I am immensely grateful for.
But I still have a brain that's desperate to be used, but not overstretched and exhausted.
Thanks for the visit Rose.
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by KylieW
Celebrity Obsession
It's a compromise isn't it? A good friend of mine was quite bored with her job, but she was being paid VERY well and given plenty of flexibility, so she didn't want to just walk away from that.
In the end you have to work out what is important to you. We want to have 'it all'. But the fact is, that sometimes we don't need to have 'it all'. Maybe we can focus on what's important instead and make sure we get that right.
You've given us all some food for thought
Kylie
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
I'm one that has accepted that I can't have it all and even though it bugged me in the beginning I soon got over it. Just a bit of time and then I realised I didn't want the same career I had before.
I just think we can't relax about it because then we'll fall into the same trap of only men get high senior management positions and that won't be good for anyone.
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by Amanda 3
Now, I have been promoted, work from home, have a great house by the beach in which to live, and can blog to my heart's content. You'd be surprised what employers will do to keep their staff. I was so surprised with my bosses reaction when I told them that not only was I having a baby but that I was moving cities! They said, oh, well, you can do this job. Sorry, it's a promotion, but it will make it easier for you. Stunned. I am not that good an employee, either!
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
Well done. Sounds like you're on a good wicket there....especially the house by the beach
It's good to hear that it's not an impossible dream.
I am not that good an employee, either!
Thanks for the visit and the comment.
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by D. Armenta
The Florida Keys and Everglades
The Black Sheep Chronicles
What constitutes bad manners?
The male mystique
Debate Fan
L.A.M.P.
See you soon...
D. Armenta
Comment by Kleonaptra
Kalikapsychosis
Im hearing this post, I loved every word.
Sick days and annual leave days are indeed precious, and if you use them all for 'stuff' then when exactly do you rest or be sick?
Im getting out - I cant take government. My 'flexible' roster is still a nightmare, and if I do this, it will be all I do. My personal life and the things Ive worked so hard for will simply disappear into the monstrousity that is this job.
Can you believe, Im considering going back to retail? I just want to be a casual with no responsability again - I need to know the world isnt going to go into upheaval just because I had a day off. Being clean and not lifting anything over 5kgs sounds good too. Not to mention sleeping past 4am!
Good on you for finding something good anyway Mrs M - you may find you dont get too bored because you know this job is just an 'on the side' thing - its not who you really are. Its just adds a little gravy, it doesnt have to fulfill you - your family, your REAL job, do that now.
Something I need to remember!
LUV
KLEO
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
I don't imagine you had a white Christmas in Florida (that's where you are right?).
Christmas was nice....getting my fingers sticky eating prawns.....none of this turkey and ham northern hemisphere rubbish
Hope Santa made his way down your chimney....
Hi Kleo,
But you love horses so much...don't let them get screwed by the government....I shouldn't guilt you into staying.
I haven't worked a retail job since I was in highschool but the one thing I remember is that it's still hard work.
I was having this discussion with Mr M the other day. My role is convention co-ordinator but I'm still only assisting the Event Co-ordinator, I'm not in charge of anything but because this is essentially an office job I'm getting paid alot more than a retail job.
Mr M used to work retail too and his argument was that retail doesn't pay as much because you are not paid to think you are paid to serve but there is always something that goes wrong and requires a little thinking to get fixed...just like I do in my office job.
I'm getting used to the job...it's easy to say now because I've had the last week off.
But it did impact me here at home, more than I expected...just have to reshuffle myself...again.
Hope you're well Kleo.
Thanks for the visit ladies
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by Kleonaptra
Kalikapsychosis
Yes, I love horses so much - MY HORSES.
There are about 30 stabled at the Mounties at any given time. I do between 5 to 8 stables twice a day. Ive seen the injuries sustained from the New years celebrations - all the horses are on painkillers, one cop in hospital.
If I stay in this job, I wont just hate horses. I'll hate people too.
A person behind the register is making the same hourly rate as me. Yes retail is still hard work but its my greatest qualification I think, its not nearly as hard as what Im doing - I think I lose 3 times my body weight in sweat a day.
And I havnt touched my own horses since I started this job. Ive gotten into the habit of smacking, something I hate, because the police horses dont muck around. Theyre trained to attack people and they bloody mean it. Ive carried the habit home and that sucks.
Gotta get out. Its killing me in more ways than one.