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MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING

April 28th 2008 03:52
Here's an article of mine that was published in the various "Child' Publications ie Sydney's Child, Melbourne's Child etc. It was published in the February 2008 edition.

Enjoy!.


Every month my son brings home the newsletter from preschool. And every month there is a call for parent volunteers to come in and ‘read a book’, ‘do some craft’, or ‘share a culture’. I had always felt unsure about volunteering. Sure I could spare an hour but I didn’t think I had any particular skill to share with the children. I can read a book but I’m not good at craft and I spent most of my adolescence trying to escape my culture not share and celebrate it.

I expressed my concerns to the Director of the preschool and she assured me that the activity didn’t really matter. Some children just love seeing their parents; sometimes children just like seeing other parents; but for the most part, the invitation for parent volunteers was more for the benefit of the parents. It gives parents an opportunity to see what happens during a preschool day and get a glimpse into a part of their children’s lives that parents aren’t normally privy to.

So I decided that this time I would volunteer. But I wouldn’t simply read a book nor do some craft. I would do something different. I decided that I would make a short film with the children.

Ambitious? Perhaps. But not impossible.

The children could come up the story and I would write the screenplay. The children would make the set, costumes and each child would play a part. I would film and edit this masterpiece. It sounds like a simple enough plan. A little too easy?

My husband laughed when I told him. “Well obviously production values aren't going to be the greatest”, I said, “but it will work”. I was confident of it. Really, what could go wrong?

The children came up with a story about princesses, princes, horses, dragons and a giant mean king whose fate is to be put in a giant bucket while everyone else danced around him, pointing their fingers and laughing at him. Oooh preschoolers can be mean!

So the children began making costumes and sets and you could sense the buzz around the preschool. I was feeling quite confident and clever for doing something different.

Finally the day came to commence filming and the calamity of errors began. I arrive at the school and realize that I have no tripod for the camera. No problem. This film will have Steven Soderbergh influences – funky and hand held.

Well the actors are in place and directions have been given. “Quiet on the set…Quiet on the set everyone….QUIET ON THE SET.” Well it would seem that children just don't understand "Quiet on the set".

I will just have children enunciate every syllable in a loud voice. It will be part of the charm. But for some reason, preschoolers cannot distinguish between how fast they say something with how loud they say it. It seems the louder they speak, the faster they speak. The slower they speak, the softer they speak. It really is a curious thing.

Next, lighting - again for the sake of convenience I thought I would use natural light. Straining my brain back to my university days I suddenly remembered something about white balances and reflectors. Alfoil anyone? Bugger it, everyone can look uniformly green.

I really am ill prepared. At this point I confirm what I have always known - I'm not a director or a cinematographer.

Time for the first take. Hang on, someone is crying. One of the horses doesn't want to be a horse anymore - he's had enough. As this poor little boy is being comforted by one of the teachers, the rest start "horsing" around. (That joke is probably not very funny - okay not a director, cinematographer or a comedian).

Finally, everyone is settled and into position for the first take. Camera rolling. Action. And....nothing. All the children just stand there - confused. "Okay princes, just hop off the horses and walk over there".

Prince number 1 does as he is asked and just as he arrives to designated spot he asks, "Over here?"

Prince number 2 comes into frame and he says "No a bit further otherwise I don't fit".

Well I ask you, what do you do with that? Try, try again?

Absolutely.

Even though I could hear my husband’s laughter in my ear and everything was falling apart around me I would carry on.

This short film was going to be fun - for the children at least. And that's what mattered. At the end of the day, no matter how many mishaps, hissy fits, and line stuff ups there were, these children would love the end product. They would love seeing themselves and their friends on the small screen.

And for me, I can tick parent volunteer off my to do list…and put it on my never to do again list…unless of course I read a book…what could possibly go wrong with reading a book?

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Comments
8 Comments. [ Add A Comment ]

Comment by yoda76

April 28th 2008 04:01
Ah, the memories...

Job well done, Mrs M.

Comment by Sara Dobson

April 28th 2008 13:45
ahh the things I have to come in in a few years when sam is older

Comment by Kleonaptra

April 29th 2008 00:26
Ah, loved it, great, What Can Go Wrong indeed?

Comment by Mrs M

April 29th 2008 02:35
Hi Sara,

It's fascinating how their minds work.....never a dull moment.


Hi Kleo

Maybe we should have just used your horses


Thanks for the visit ladies.

Love & stuff
Mrs M

Comment by Miswanderlust

April 30th 2008 03:14
Mrs. M
I nearly fell out of my chair laughing. How funny! I taught Kindergarten for many years and I could certainly picture your day! Hope you are well!
Mis

Comment by Mrs M

April 30th 2008 07:03
Hi Mis,

I wish I could put it online but I don't have permission from the other parents. It came out alright in the end I think. There are some moments when I watch it now and just crack up laughing. There's one kid that steals the show, it's great.

But even my Alex had a moment when his head is hanging low because he just didn't want to do this anymore - part of the charm.

I'm glad I did it. I achieved my goal and the kids loved it......just not in a hurry to go back

Love & stuff
Mrs M

Comment by D. Armenta

May 5th 2008 22:40
Excellent and entertaining writing as usual, Mrs. M.!

Yep, you're definitely next up...

Comment by Mrs M

May 6th 2008 11:19
Hi D,

Thanks for your lovely comment

Love & stuff
Mrs M

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