Mrs M
yoda76NIGELLA WON’T GIVE MONEY…BUT WILL SHE GIVE COOKING TIPS?
February 4th 2008 01:35
In last week’s, Sydney Morning Herald website (smh.com.au) there was an article on Nigella Lawson where she stated that “her children shouldn't expect a penny from her when she dies.” She doesn’t want “her children to feel financially secure”.
Asked what she hoped her children would learn from her, she said: "To know that I am working and that you have to work in order to earn money.
Miss Lawson, 48, has two children, 13-year-old daughter Cosima and 11-year-old son Bruno (but) did not say what she would do with her money.
So what do we all think of this?
I agree with Nigella that teaching children that you need to work to get money is important.
However, without handing my children everything on a silver platter, I know that I would like to help out if I could.
Mr M and I plan on giving our children a lump sum of money on their 21st. It’s not a fortune but still a healthy amount to give them an option to buy a car, go on a holiday, or put it towards a house deposit, a wedding or a business idea. I just want to give them a kick start to get them going. Because in your early 20’s you just want to do it all.
I remember I wish that I had parents that could have helped in just one of those areas. When Mr M and I got married in 1999 we spent $20,000; back then that was close to a house deposit. It took us a long time after that to save enough money to buy something and even then it was an apartment, not a house.
If my parents or in-laws were able to give us a helping hand it would not have undone our work ethic. You want something, you have to earn it.
But I’d also like to think that I’ll live a long life and by the time I kick the bucket that my children would be amassing their own wealth without relying on mine….I just need to find mine first before the kids can get their grubby little hands on it.
But I assume that Nigella’s children go to a decent school and have had opportunities and experiences presented to them that less wealthy families can’t give their children. So I can only assume that these children have had a head start of a different kind.
Furthermore, her children would have seen what it takes to be as successful as Nigella. There’s an education we don’t all get.
I’m sure that Nigella wants what is best for her children.
It is better to teach children to work for a living than turning them into spoilt little brats with no concept of what makes the world go round.
Asked what she hoped her children would learn from her, she said: "To know that I am working and that you have to work in order to earn money.
Miss Lawson, 48, has two children, 13-year-old daughter Cosima and 11-year-old son Bruno (but) did not say what she would do with her money.
So what do we all think of this?
I agree with Nigella that teaching children that you need to work to get money is important.
However, without handing my children everything on a silver platter, I know that I would like to help out if I could.
Mr M and I plan on giving our children a lump sum of money on their 21st. It’s not a fortune but still a healthy amount to give them an option to buy a car, go on a holiday, or put it towards a house deposit, a wedding or a business idea. I just want to give them a kick start to get them going. Because in your early 20’s you just want to do it all.
I remember I wish that I had parents that could have helped in just one of those areas. When Mr M and I got married in 1999 we spent $20,000; back then that was close to a house deposit. It took us a long time after that to save enough money to buy something and even then it was an apartment, not a house.
If my parents or in-laws were able to give us a helping hand it would not have undone our work ethic. You want something, you have to earn it.
But I’d also like to think that I’ll live a long life and by the time I kick the bucket that my children would be amassing their own wealth without relying on mine….I just need to find mine first before the kids can get their grubby little hands on it.
But I assume that Nigella’s children go to a decent school and have had opportunities and experiences presented to them that less wealthy families can’t give their children. So I can only assume that these children have had a head start of a different kind.
Furthermore, her children would have seen what it takes to be as successful as Nigella. There’s an education we don’t all get.
I’m sure that Nigella wants what is best for her children.
It is better to teach children to work for a living than turning them into spoilt little brats with no concept of what makes the world go round.
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Comment by Lara M
Love Speaks
Food Slate
Which I guess is kinda what one of my friends' friend was *moaning* about the other day. He comes from a well-to-do family, is in his 30s...but hasn't quite accomplished much -- he is angry at his parents for not teaching him about life...and how to cook! With his type of family-line, I'd imagine that he would've had (many) opportunities to get a head-start which many didn't quite have, so what quite went awry... He is by no means a spoilt-brat (per se)...but certainly is grappling with the concept of *the world*...
Sorry, Mrs M...I think I'm babbling!...but hope u know what I'm trying to say
Comment by Michaelie
Flick Wit
But maybe it's different if your kids grow up knowing you have made millions? Perhaps she will just give it all to charity. Or maybe she's just saying that they will get nothing, so that they don't grow up with expectations of instant wealth, but when it comes time to read the will they will find she has provided a bit of extra financial security for them after all...
Michaelie
Comment by Rose
I think Nigella's attitude is a good one. It might be easy foe her children not to achieve their potential and work hard in life if they know they are going to inherit millions. It's good for them to grow up learning the value of money and earning their own.
It seems sensible for her to spend her money on them now by sending them to the top schools. If I was in a position to do that I would. A good education and other priviledges in life also increase the chance that in the future they would not need her money anyway!
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
I like babbling. Babbling makes more sense than you realise.
After I had my first child and my mother could see that I was coping with being a parent, she said to me that if she was told tomorrow that she was going to die it wouldn't bother her because she could see that all her children were okay and she believed that we were capable of dealing with whatever life threw at us.
I remember that everyday and use it as my motto.
Hi Michaelie,
I suppose if you do know that you've got millions coming to you that would change your life's plans.
When Mr M and I were discussing having bub no. 4 I used to say "if only I knew it would all work out in the end, I wouldn't mind doing the hard yards now"
But we don't know that and it is a valid point you make. I can't just work just to survive for now, I need to plan for the future.
Hi Rose,
It's good chatting to mums on the other side of the world and reading about what's happening in other countries.
Anyways...
A good education and other priviledges in life also increase the chance that in the future they would not need her money anyway!
I was reading a book recently that explored the age old discussion of single sex schools versus co-education schools. It was based on the Australian school system.
But basically what was discovered wasn't whether the school was single sex or co-ed, the child's success had more to do with the socio economic background of the parents.
If the parents were seen to be successful, high achievers and hard workers that ethic rubbed off on the children.
It's kind of that "if you build it, they will come" school of thought.
Nigella made her millions from nothing, that's got to be inspirational.
Thanks for the visit ladies
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by Miswanderlust
Killer Beats
Ramble On
Hipnotherapy
I come from a very frugal but not stingy family and I am proud of how I raised my son and his values concerning money. Having a 22 year old really helps keep it real about the money issue. My agreement with him was that I would pay for his university so he could start adulthood out of debt. If he chose not to go to college then at 18 he would get a job and move out or go into the military. Well the military was out for him. (he is too arty and too cheeky). He went to college for three years and dropped out. I am paying for his college loans but now he works and lives on his own. He pays for everything. There have been a couple of times when I have had to assist but he pays me back with interest (interest being helping around my house). There have been times when he has purchased things that I thought were out of line and has made a couple of stumbles but overall he is grateful and not spoiled one bit!
Mis
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
That sounds great. Starting out in life debt free is a big one isn't it?
I've got a university student debt. But in Australia the loan is with the federal government. And you repay this loan once you start working. You have to earn a certain amount before you start repaying. If you never reach that level then you never repay the loan.
Sound good?
However, it does get indexed every year regardless so my loan has been going up about $200 - $300 every year for the last 7 years I haven't been earning that much. I haven't been paying it off and it's been going up. And it will continue to index until the day I die.
Also, when we were living at home, we didn't pay rent but once we were earning money we had to contribute to the running of the household. We paid for the electricity, phone bills. Mum paid for the groceries but any treats we wanted, we paid.
We weren't allowed to get a car unless we could afford it because dad wasn't about to give us petrol money. We want it, we pay for it.
I'm pretty sure my parents would have helped if I was really struggling with money when I was a student but they made it clear that I shouldn't rely on it.
The lecture that would have come with it was motivation to be sensible with my money.
But I'd like to help my kids they way you are helping your son.
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by Miswanderlust
Killer Beats
Ramble On
Hipnotherapy
Mis
Comment by MelissaA
Fun Facts
Basically I was the eldest child, BUT I was female - brought up in a family with a strong bias towards males. Hence, while I never received any form of financial assistance when it was sorely needed as shown at one or two points in my life, my brothers were given handouts just for being male, and financial 'assistance' when it wasn't anywhere near being needed.
When I got married, my husband and I raised all the cash on our own and stretched our money as far as possible.
We did get one piece of financial aid then, not from my family, but his.
Thanks to his sister having the opportunity to take a school trip to Italy many years beforehand, they decided it was only fair that they gave us the same amount of money so that we could have a honeymoon - the one thing we'd been unable to afford.
Similarly, after this his grandfather was instrumental in helping us get out of the rental rut - we knew we could pay a mortgage, but in paying such high rent we were never going to be able to afford the deposit for our own place.
He then lent us $10,000 towards that deposit and we were able to scrape together a mortgage. We had just made enough money to pay him back went he passed away.
We tried to then give it to his parents as it was now part of their inheritance, but instead they set up a deal with their other 2 children that when the time came to buy a house, they would be given the same amount as a deposit on a house each because even tax-wise the government allows you to make one gift of that same amount to your children tax-free.
This I felt was a really good plan, and something I will endeavour to help my children and grandchildren out with, because sometimes you just need that extra helping hand, and provided you do understand the value of money and don't abuse it, I think this sort of thing has so much merit.
Really it's just a matter of walking a line inbetween, not giving straight out hand outs to your kids willy-nilly and getting them to appreciate money and the work ethics behind acquiring it, but at the same time, a helping hand can go a long way - especially in a difficult situation.
I can understand Nigella's thinking though as she would have amassed millions, but there's nothing to say she couldn't even put something in trust for them for when they're much older - say 35, so that they know they will at least have to work and support themselves for a long time beforehand without any expectations of immediate wealth rolling in.
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
That's quite a story. But a perfect example of being able to help out without undoing all the "good" stuff you've learnt about life and money.
But you do handle money better when you've had to earn it.
Here's a perfect example. Jordan is 6 and was getting pocket money there for a while and I don't know what happened but I ended stopping the pocket money for a while.
Anyway, last year I decided to take the kids out to the toy shop for a treat. Jordan wanted a Princess Max tamogochi type thing. The store didn't have it so she picked a Littlest Pet Shop tamogochi type thing.
3 days later, she was over it and started whining how she wanted a Princess Max. I had just spent $30 and she wanted me to spend another $20.
So we re-introduced the pocket money and I told her that if she saved her pocket money for 4 weeks she could buy her Princess Max.
All of a sudden Princess Max wasn't high on her priorities.
So I'd like to think that if I teach sensible money skills to my kids now, that if I gift them some money, they'll be sensible with it.
However, Mr M and I agreed that we wouldn't butt in when we gift money to our kids for their 21st; because if they blow it, then that's also a life lesson for them.
Thanks for the visit Melissa. You're not missing much of a summer here in Australia.
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by Kleonaptra
Kalikapsychosis
IF I have managed to 'make it' somehow there is nothing they will be denied. I remember the pain and terror of trying to keep up with the crowd with no money for the 'right' shoes clothes or bags, missing out on excursions or extra classes because of no money. The bitterness I feel seeing private school kids spending more money than Ive ever known in their expensive shoes and outfits.
So, again, I say - My children will be spoiled rotten little shits. Just like my horses. Id rather they have the pain of "Oh, dear, Versace or Armani?" Than "Christ, I havnt even got a buck for the bus...I'll have to walk"
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
You're too much of a hard worker to not teach your children what it means to earn their keep.
Love & stuff
Mrs M