Mrs M
yoda76My legacy for our future part 1 (of 3)
November 22nd 2006 03:23
CHECKLIST
Nappies? Check. Clothes? Check. Cot? Check. Legacy? Check???
Oh, hang on. Where did I put the legacy? Um, what does it look like?
Okay, focus. It is one of the most important and potent words in the parenting vernacular, so let’s give it its due attention.
But where do we start? Well, when in doubt, always consult those trusted individuals of child rearing literature. Then ask your mum.
Let’s start with Dr Miriam Stoppard (The Essential Guide for First Time Parents 1999 – Dorling Kindersley). She says, “Every child is genetically the sum of his parents, but he is also a unique personality in his own right, and knowing that you have been the primary influences and educators in allowing that personality to take shape and mature is deeply enriching and well as being a major achievement.”
Next we have Steven Biddulph (Love, Laughter and Parenting 2000 – Dorling Kindersley). He believes, “Loving, alert, healthy children don’t just happen. Your kids may not learn to be loving unless you show them love and encourage them. They may not learn to solve problems, unless you help them to think clearly and, to understand their own feelings.”
Alright then. So essentially, legacy is teaching and passing onto our children the values that we as parents and individuals live by.
Well now that we know what it is, let’s find some. If memory serves me correctly I think I inherited some from my mother. What was it that she said? ‘Put the washing away? Don’t stay out too late?’
No wait, I’ve got it.
“You can be whatever you want to be and do whatever you want to do”, my mother said. “I will support you, I will help you”, she encouraged. And I believed her; and with her encouragement I did exactly that. My mother’s legacy to me was to aim higher than she ever did – do not settle for the status quo.
Hmmmm…allowing myself a moment to dwell in the land of warm and fuzzy, a new thought threatens my utopia and brings me back to reality with a screeching halt.
Here I am now with 3 children of my own - a daughter and two sons. Now it’s time I step up to the plate and pass my legacy onto my children.
But what is my legacy? Let’s think tank it.
Ideally, my legacy to my daughter is to lead by example and show her how to create opportunities for herself. My mother encouraged me to do the things she didn’t get a chance to do; get a tertiary education, have a career and a family. I needed to (and still do) muddle through and find that delicate balance. I’ve created momentum and now I need to show my daughter how I manage to juggle this thing we call life to keep that momentum going. I need to guide and enable her to achieve the Parenting Holy Trinity (as I like to call it) of paid employment, available childcare and shared household responsibility. It can be hers for the taking if she wants it. She does not have to settle for the status quo either.
For me, it has been a long hard road with many mistakes made and realities shattered. So, when it is time for my daughter to tackle the complex world of family and work I hope, with a little help from me, she will have more opportunities presented to her. Just as my mother had wished for me. But mothers’ alone pushing for the Parenting Holy Trinity is not enough.
There are men in this world and in my possession I have two. They may only be three years old and 13 months old respectively, but perhaps the key here is to instil a legacy specially designed for them, to benefit the entire family unit.
The times they are a changing and a new wave of parenting styles have taken over. I have realised that we no longer simply pass a legacy from fathers to sons and mothers to daughters; it is now from unified parents to their children.
Come back for part 2 tomorrow.
Nappies? Check. Clothes? Check. Cot? Check. Legacy? Check???
Oh, hang on. Where did I put the legacy? Um, what does it look like?
Okay, focus. It is one of the most important and potent words in the parenting vernacular, so let’s give it its due attention.
But where do we start? Well, when in doubt, always consult those trusted individuals of child rearing literature. Then ask your mum.
Let’s start with Dr Miriam Stoppard (The Essential Guide for First Time Parents 1999 – Dorling Kindersley). She says, “Every child is genetically the sum of his parents, but he is also a unique personality in his own right, and knowing that you have been the primary influences and educators in allowing that personality to take shape and mature is deeply enriching and well as being a major achievement.”
Next we have Steven Biddulph (Love, Laughter and Parenting 2000 – Dorling Kindersley). He believes, “Loving, alert, healthy children don’t just happen. Your kids may not learn to be loving unless you show them love and encourage them. They may not learn to solve problems, unless you help them to think clearly and, to understand their own feelings.”
Alright then. So essentially, legacy is teaching and passing onto our children the values that we as parents and individuals live by.
Well now that we know what it is, let’s find some. If memory serves me correctly I think I inherited some from my mother. What was it that she said? ‘Put the washing away? Don’t stay out too late?’
No wait, I’ve got it.
“You can be whatever you want to be and do whatever you want to do”, my mother said. “I will support you, I will help you”, she encouraged. And I believed her; and with her encouragement I did exactly that. My mother’s legacy to me was to aim higher than she ever did – do not settle for the status quo.
Hmmmm…allowing myself a moment to dwell in the land of warm and fuzzy, a new thought threatens my utopia and brings me back to reality with a screeching halt.
Here I am now with 3 children of my own - a daughter and two sons. Now it’s time I step up to the plate and pass my legacy onto my children.
But what is my legacy? Let’s think tank it.
Ideally, my legacy to my daughter is to lead by example and show her how to create opportunities for herself. My mother encouraged me to do the things she didn’t get a chance to do; get a tertiary education, have a career and a family. I needed to (and still do) muddle through and find that delicate balance. I’ve created momentum and now I need to show my daughter how I manage to juggle this thing we call life to keep that momentum going. I need to guide and enable her to achieve the Parenting Holy Trinity (as I like to call it) of paid employment, available childcare and shared household responsibility. It can be hers for the taking if she wants it. She does not have to settle for the status quo either.
For me, it has been a long hard road with many mistakes made and realities shattered. So, when it is time for my daughter to tackle the complex world of family and work I hope, with a little help from me, she will have more opportunities presented to her. Just as my mother had wished for me. But mothers’ alone pushing for the Parenting Holy Trinity is not enough.
There are men in this world and in my possession I have two. They may only be three years old and 13 months old respectively, but perhaps the key here is to instil a legacy specially designed for them, to benefit the entire family unit.
The times they are a changing and a new wave of parenting styles have taken over. I have realised that we no longer simply pass a legacy from fathers to sons and mothers to daughters; it is now from unified parents to their children.
Come back for part 2 tomorrow.
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