Mrs M
yoda76Mistakes parents make.
November 27th 2006 23:51
They say there are only two guarantees in life - death and taxes. Well I'd like to add a third. Parents will make mistakes.
This post is actually inspired by fellow blogger katyzzz from MS Paint Art. She has been a faithful reader of my blog and has often commented that she made mistakes as a parent. Which got me thinking - is it possible to escape making mistakes? I don't think you can.
Like most parents, I carefully think about discipline, rewards, the food my children eat, the amount of television they watch, are they stimulated enough, are they stimulated too much, how much outdoor play they have, how much sleep they have, how much sleep I have, how cranky am I today and the list goes on and on and on.
But no matter how much careful consideration I give the abovementioned I will slip up. I am human - humans are flawed.
But more than that, it is difficult to determine what your children will judge as a mistake on your part - it won't be evident for a long time to come.
I've considered the mistakes I think my parents made with me and I endeavour to not repeat them with my children. But how will I know that my children won't think that the direction I took wasn't a mistake? Or find fault with other things I didn't even consider?.
The truth of the matter is that we don't know what moments in life our children will remember when they are older - we just won't know.
So armed with this humbling realisation, there is one thing I can do - the best I can do is do my best. The kids will forgive me, right?
This post is actually inspired by fellow blogger katyzzz from MS Paint Art. She has been a faithful reader of my blog and has often commented that she made mistakes as a parent. Which got me thinking - is it possible to escape making mistakes? I don't think you can.
Like most parents, I carefully think about discipline, rewards, the food my children eat, the amount of television they watch, are they stimulated enough, are they stimulated too much, how much outdoor play they have, how much sleep they have, how much sleep I have, how cranky am I today and the list goes on and on and on.
But no matter how much careful consideration I give the abovementioned I will slip up. I am human - humans are flawed.
But more than that, it is difficult to determine what your children will judge as a mistake on your part - it won't be evident for a long time to come.
I've considered the mistakes I think my parents made with me and I endeavour to not repeat them with my children. But how will I know that my children won't think that the direction I took wasn't a mistake? Or find fault with other things I didn't even consider?.
The truth of the matter is that we don't know what moments in life our children will remember when they are older - we just won't know.
So armed with this humbling realisation, there is one thing I can do - the best I can do is do my best. The kids will forgive me, right?
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Comment by KylieW
Celebrity Obsession
Fortunately your kids will eventually grow up and realise how hard having kids is (god, I'm 32 and can barely cope with my cat.....I have no idea how my parents coped with having 2 kids by the time they were 22)!
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
I became a mum at 27. When I was 22 I was still learning to wipe my bum so hats off to your parents for having 2 kids by 22.
Comment by Hope
Gifted Parenting
Freelance For Life
Above all we can all be more self-forgiving.
Comment by Candice
I have learned one big lesson being pretty new to this mum business myself - that I not only have a lot to teach my daughter but that I also have a lot to learn about teaching her. It's already been as much a learning curve for me as it has for her.
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
Thanks for your comments. I think you are right about self forgiving. After all, if guilt consumes us, parenting becomes a very very difficult job.
Hi Candice
Thanks for visiting. I think you have hit the nail on the head. The next extension of making mistakes is learning from them and continuously learning. It never stops. We will never know everything.
Just don't tell the kids that yet
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by Andrea
V8 Supercar Pitstop
I agree with everything that's been said here, both by yourself and your commenters.
We are human, as you so rightly say, nothing and no-one is perfect so mistakes are a natural part of life, not just with our children.
I think our children instinctively understand that we make mistakes as we go through our lives and that learning from those mistakes is all part of the process.
Great subject.
A.H.
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
The delicate balance is between admitting to your mistakes and children understanding.
I remember I was a pesky teenager that when my parents made a mistake I would hold it over them and use it as leverage to ignore everything else they said.
That's a bit nasty. New revelation:- we made mistakes growing up too.
Thanks for visiting Andrea.
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by Stuart
Mediated
Once they get past being a teenager
Comment by Johanna
PCOS Mum
Have you forgiven your parents their mistakes? Unless we're talking very major mistakes, of course you have, because they're your parents.
I agree with you, and constantly worry about the major I have, and know I will, made/make and I'm only seven months into parenting!
You're so right - we're human and humans make mistakes.
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
I believe in karma so I'm sure my kids will dish out to me what I dished out to my parents. Fantastic. Can't wait.
Hi Johanna,
I really clashed with my father. It got to a point where we had to agree to disagree. Even though one of us will still try and get the last word in. I think the thing with my parents is I've turned out to be the person they wanted, but the way I did it they didn't like. Just like I appreciate what they were trying to teach me, but sometimes the means with which they did it, I didn't like. It's a curly one.
Thanks for visiting guys.
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by katyzzz
Photography Tips
MS Paint Art
A great post, love and stuff.
We shall all have to take life as it comes, no matter how hard we try.
But at the end of the day, if we do try, we, at least to ourselves can say, WELL DONE!
katyzzz
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
Glad you liked the post. Thanks for the inspiration.
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by Sarah White
coolgirlsar to the rescue
One Too Many Chocolate Bars
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
Thanks for visiting.
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by Lana Marie
Youth Parenting
Untitled -
My name is Lana Marie, i'm new to orble. Im 17 and pregnant with my first child. Your homepage was the first one I stumbled across, and I've got to say you are one very intellegent lady!! You sound like a great mum. I've even had to show my mum some of your posts! I could not agree more with your comment "The best I can do, is do my best", I'll definatley remember that one! Keep up the good work! - Lana Marie
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
Welcome. Youth Parenting....that is one interesting topic. I'll definitely come to see your blog.
Thank you for your kind words. I'm just a mum that thinks too much. I always knew I wanted to be a mum, from a very early age and I got a lot of hands on experience when I was 15 and my nephew was born...he is more like my little brother.
Wow 17 and pregnant, hope society doesn't give you too much of a hard time for being a young mum.
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by Anonymous
Not 'most' parents, more like 'some' parents.
We're a dying breed, and it's time to get mad about it. I know we can't change other parents and their frankly irresponsible ways, but we can certainly get angry about it.
I know I am a good parent because every night my head hits the pillow and I'm gone.
Come, join us, you get a free tee shirt.
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
I'd like to think that most parents are well intentioned if nothing else.
Sure I'll admit that I see parents and I think they are making some fundamentals mistakes, but I would hope that these parents didn't wake up in the morning with a mission to do their kids an injustice.
So what does the free t-shirt say?
Thanks for the visit and the comment Anonymous.
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by Parenting-Tips
Making mistakes is all part of learning and growing. If you don't admit to making mistakes or even realizing there is a better way then you can't grow or offer more to your children every day.
Sometimes we just have to suck it up, admit we are wrong and move on, even though that is sometimes a painful thing to do.
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
As parents I agree that we need to take the lead and set the example.
But when I was a kid I was a rat bag at times and when my parents made mistakes I would go on and on about it.
Now that I'm the adult I know we need to rise above situations like that should they ever arise.
Thanks for the comment and the return visit.
I had a look at your blog when you left your comment on my other post. Your blog looks very extensive.
Love & stuff
Mrs M