Mrs M
yoda76Do you have the same parenting style as your parents?
November 15th 2006 00:46
I do. I'm not sure if I'm entirely happy about it, but the fact remains that I do. I haven't completely plagiarised my parents, there is some originality in my style. However, the ghosts of my upbringing will usually appear when I'm caught off guard.
My 5 year old daughter will ask to make her own sandwiches and if I'm not paying attention my reply will be something like this. "No sweetie. I'll do it. You're too young to hold a knife on your own and I haven't got time to stand with you and watch you. Besides you won't be able to spread the butter very well and you'll tear the bread and we'll have to throw it away which will be a waste. Not to mention the mess that I'll have to clean up." Aaaaaarrrrggghhhhh!!!
When did my mother possess me? I always hated hearing those comments growing up. All I remember thinking was, 'I'm not an idiot.' That may sound harsh but it's true.
I don't think my mother was trying to be mean and only now can I really appreciated what it means to manage a household, a family and a marriage; but I do clearly remember thinking, 'give me a chance.'
I always swore to myself that I wouldn't behave that way towards my own children. But like I said, sometimes I do.
Having said that, I do remember absolutely loving my mum for treating me to a 'crunchie' chocolate bar on a somewhat regular basis. I think I appreciated it more because she knew that I knew what a big deal it was. There were times that she did give me the credit that I thought I deserved.
I know the kind of parent I want to be. I've given it alot of thought. I want to teach my children, guide them through life's intricacies; including all methods of sandwich making. What I want is the same thing my mother wanted. She wanted to know that when she went to sleep at night, that her children were fine; that there wasn't anything that life could throw at us that we couldn't handle. And for that I thank her for all her efforts.
I hope to do the same for my children.
My 5 year old daughter will ask to make her own sandwiches and if I'm not paying attention my reply will be something like this. "No sweetie. I'll do it. You're too young to hold a knife on your own and I haven't got time to stand with you and watch you. Besides you won't be able to spread the butter very well and you'll tear the bread and we'll have to throw it away which will be a waste. Not to mention the mess that I'll have to clean up." Aaaaaarrrrggghhhhh!!!
When did my mother possess me? I always hated hearing those comments growing up. All I remember thinking was, 'I'm not an idiot.' That may sound harsh but it's true.
I don't think my mother was trying to be mean and only now can I really appreciated what it means to manage a household, a family and a marriage; but I do clearly remember thinking, 'give me a chance.'
I always swore to myself that I wouldn't behave that way towards my own children. But like I said, sometimes I do.
Having said that, I do remember absolutely loving my mum for treating me to a 'crunchie' chocolate bar on a somewhat regular basis. I think I appreciated it more because she knew that I knew what a big deal it was. There were times that she did give me the credit that I thought I deserved.
I know the kind of parent I want to be. I've given it alot of thought. I want to teach my children, guide them through life's intricacies; including all methods of sandwich making. What I want is the same thing my mother wanted. She wanted to know that when she went to sleep at night, that her children were fine; that there wasn't anything that life could throw at us that we couldn't handle. And for that I thank her for all her efforts.
I hope to do the same for my children.
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Comment by katyzzz
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Well written and I wish you well with it all, don't aim for perfection, that's not what any of us achieve.
Have you tried talking [not accusing of] to your Mum about these things and be as nice to her as you were about her in this post.
Child rearing can prove to be very disappointing, no matter how well we think we've done it.
Keep talking within the family.
Nice to have your visit to me.
katyzzz
Comment by Sandi
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
I bear no ill feeling towards my mum and it has become apparent to me why see would say things like this. My mum and dad are very old school parents. Dad didn't clean inside the house (that's women's word), but the house had to be immaculate. So I can appreciate her frustration.
I know that I have pivotal memories from my childhood that shape and drive me now but if I ask my mum about them she probably won't remember the specific moments I'm talking about. I suppose my point is that, you just never know what moments your children will remember so try to make every moment good. Or at the very least, not bad.
Hi Sandi,
Thanks for visiting. I totally understand about free reign in the house. My dad's favourite expression is "This is my house and you live under my rules - get your feet of the couch, don't eat in the living room, use a placemat etc etc". It just did my head in. I'm more like you. I would like to make my children feel more comfortable in their own home than I did in mine.
However, I find that we still need some order otherwise it's chaos.
I try to teach my kids about respect. Sometimes I get laughed at. They're too young to understand apparently. But who cares. At least I try.