Mrs M
yoda76HAVE YOU REACHED YOUR POTENTIAL?
February 27th 2007 03:07
Here’s a post full of questions with not many answers. Why is it the older I get the less I know?
If you have reached your potential then I suppose it isn’t potential anymore. Psychologist Abraham Maslow says that we never reach our potential. I don’t feel like I’ve reached mine. At times I find it frustrating that I feel I have such difficulty doing it.
How do I help my children reach their potential? How do I teach them about reaching theirs? Is it simply a case of the journey is the real reward and not the end result?
How do I teach something I am not well versed in? How do I inspire someone to do the very thing I failed to do?
I have always felt like I have had one hand tied behind my back when it came to achieving my goals. So it’s not for the lack of desire or drive but I feel I lack the necessary tools to chase my dreams. I was never shown how to chase my dreams. How do I teach my children how to chase theirs when I know I’ve fallen short on mine?
When, as a parent, you recognize your flaws how do you teach your children to be the very thing you are not? Does that make you a hypocrite?
I don’t want to live my life vicariously through my children. To be honest, I don’t think that would satisfy my desires for myself. My desires for my children are different and independent of my goals.
How do I inspire my children to break down and break through barriers they encounter them when I never did?
Would you take advice from someone like that?
I know I often disregarded my parent’s advice on life. They didn’t understand me, what life experience did they have? It occurs to me now that they have lived through things that I will and some of which I would never want to. Is it a failing on my parent’s part for not helping me achieve my potential, or was I just a typical teenager who disregarded her parents? Are both forgivable acts? Do they need to be forgiven at all?
If you have reached your potential then I suppose it isn’t potential anymore. Psychologist Abraham Maslow says that we never reach our potential. I don’t feel like I’ve reached mine. At times I find it frustrating that I feel I have such difficulty doing it.
How do I help my children reach their potential? How do I teach them about reaching theirs? Is it simply a case of the journey is the real reward and not the end result?
How do I teach something I am not well versed in? How do I inspire someone to do the very thing I failed to do?
I have always felt like I have had one hand tied behind my back when it came to achieving my goals. So it’s not for the lack of desire or drive but I feel I lack the necessary tools to chase my dreams. I was never shown how to chase my dreams. How do I teach my children how to chase theirs when I know I’ve fallen short on mine?
When, as a parent, you recognize your flaws how do you teach your children to be the very thing you are not? Does that make you a hypocrite?
I don’t want to live my life vicariously through my children. To be honest, I don’t think that would satisfy my desires for myself. My desires for my children are different and independent of my goals.
How do I inspire my children to break down and break through barriers they encounter them when I never did?
Would you take advice from someone like that?
I know I often disregarded my parent’s advice on life. They didn’t understand me, what life experience did they have? It occurs to me now that they have lived through things that I will and some of which I would never want to. Is it a failing on my parent’s part for not helping me achieve my potential, or was I just a typical teenager who disregarded her parents? Are both forgivable acts? Do they need to be forgiven at all?
| 145 |
| Vote |
Add To: 
subscribe to this blog
Comment by David
When you get to the stage of your life when you realise there is more you know less about than there is you know more about? ...
That's when self-knowledge kicks in ... And you really begin learning ...
In my limited experience of life? And from personal observation?
If is a very uncommon stage for Bloggers to arrive at ...
Chaste virtual cheek rubs and other associated virtual acts of fraternal chastity and celibacy ...
David ...
Comment by Damo
Potential?
It is also written that no one can exceed their level of incompetance.
Some say:
How do I make my kids fullfill my ambitions?
Kids have their own ambitions and dreams. It depends on how hungry they to follow their dreams. A hungry boxer is a good fighter.
Comment by Anonymous
Damo is correct. Besides our potential changes accordingly to how we change. If you suddenly develop a keen interest in and knack for physics, then you have that dream to fulfill as well as writing. Which means your potential for success is also increased.
Hope you keep trying to exceed your potential. Just remember what I said about passion. Find that, and forget all else.
- Anthony
Comment by Andrea
V8 Supercar Pitstop
No, it makes you human and an individual, just like your children.
We all learn through the good and bad, the positive and negative experiences in our lives. AND through the experiences of others. We can't live our lives through others but we can learn from them. Your children will learn from you and you will learn from your children.
I agree with David ...
That's when self-knowledge kicks in ... And you really begin learning ...
Don't ever stop learning and you will be doing the best you can by your children.
A.
Comment by Lilla
From The Home Front
Enviro Warrior
Dream Herald
Esoteric Bookshop
... just got in from dance practice and saw this post, will answer it whilst dinner is cooking ...
... I agree with what's been said and believe that by pursuing all the dreams now, that I wasn't allowed to - or able to as a child - (because of divorce or crappy parenting), when I was a young teenager myself; I feel I am instructing my children on how to strive for themselves, now. They watch my torments, they see my losses, they feel with me, through my struggles and cheer me in the triumphs.
They stood proudly beside me at my Graduation day? They watched me agonise over my "homework" and have watched me push myself to the limit, to get a dance routine right, practice a song, rehearse lines, write an article articulately … try and understand something, I don't… Hell, on occasion they’ve even explained it to me… (no false pride here)…*lol* I guess it helps that I refuse to be older than a teenager for the rest of my life and hope I die, before I grow old…(in heart age, not years)…
In turn, I am watching them do the same, striving harder and I'm cheering them along. Aim for the stars, you never know you may miss, but you’ll catch the moon. The important thing is to follow your passion and ‘go for it!’ Life, the journey (I tell them) is about ‘having fun, ’ following passions and standing firm in your convictions …
I believe the biggest secret for any parent is not to stop living your own life and following your own dreams, just because you had children, just because you are now a responsible Mrs M, or J or L... You need to show them the human side of Mrs M, the side that strives, yearns, craves and feels, and still needs to achieve herself... as you so rightly say, a person still enjoying her own journey….
Work out a routine with hubby and enrol in Latin American classes, night art, amateur theatre, writing groups and retreats - whatever it is that turns you on - and take your children along, here and there, as special 'outings'... they just love it. Get involved in their theatre plays. I did the make-up back stage last year and had a ball. I learnt a whole heap of stuff from the professional make-up artists there too….
There’s a wealth of information and joy you can get from having had children. I’m sentimental about them, no doubts… but my belief is that they were never meant to be a burden around our necks, but companions... little midget adults; unprejudiced and pure, and wonderful fun to be with. If your mortgage exceeds your ability to appreciate this, then in my humble opinion? You need to downsize…
My husband has my daughter’s involved in his world in the SES too. One loves to go and help him in the kitchen when he's on catering mode. The other hopefully soon to become a volunteer in disabled rescue practice? She is to be “rescued” as practice on how to hoist a person and wheelchair into a helicopter, 4WD or flood boat.
Whoo hoo, she is chomping at the bit for that one…*chuckle* especially if they get a ride in the helicopter too…
*sipping my Pina Colada*
…raving on a bit more ....I take them to Meditation session with native and indigenous people. They’ve learnt native instruments, we do ballroom dancing together and crystal workshops, and I’m always a volunteer mum to plays, outings, (especially) museums and art galleries … and God knows what? Hopefully soon, display trips to various places, both nationally and internationally to showcase our ballroom/wheelchair dancing together?
In pursuing a secret ambition to act, I joined an amateur theatre group and my youngest is now a member too. We’re in a St Patricks Day “Medley…” *chuckle* I’m dong the faerie Godmother… should be a scream…
We have taken cooking lessons together too…
~oOo~
Sorry, I'm stopping now ... but you get my point ... for children to reach their potential, I think Parenting has to be an INTERACTIVE activity and should have few boundaries, after the (my space) - (your space) objectivity has been established. Maybe I should mention here, I didn’t have boys and have no experience with them, although I do love go-kart racing and paint-ball skirmishes and I love to play pool/snooker. Don’t know if that’s the kind of things Mum’s do with boys, but we have boy ‘dancers’ in our group. Don’t know if that’s still uncool or not, according to 'normal' society?
Maybe I'm just too different, because I have no connection with extended family, as we've had to cut all ties... perhaps that is what has freed us up to enjoy life? Reaching your full potential in one field, doesn’t mean you can’t start again in another either, does it? … isn’t that true potential…the endless journey of discovery ...
I think Damo said it best : Don’t aim for the impossible. .. and St Francis of Assisi sums it up beautifully for me when he said, “Start by doing what’s necessary, then do what’s possible and pretty soon you’ll be doing the impossible..”..and David's, never stop learning... so true.
A great post, and one that has obviously made me think a lot *lol* stopping now, sorry…
Cheers for now Mrs M,
…onwards. ..
Lilla …
Comment by Candice
Wow, I don't know if I could put things any better than the previous commenters ... but what the hell, I'll comment anyway.
I'm a believer in passing on what you've learned to your kids. If you want them to set goals, set them yourself, and then teach them how you do it.
An example ... my hubby and I always write what we call our 'wish list' each year. Some are simple things like starting dance classes, some are huge like going to Greece, and may take years to achieve. We also look back on our previous 'wish lists' and tick off what we've achieved. It's amazing to see how much we actually have accomplished. And it's a great way to remember how much we have achieved. It's easy to forget that sometimes!
Anyhow, this could easily be done as a family activity??
Comment by Ash
Flashes of memories
Great post..you know how much I love questions
I don`t have kids but as a professional kid I would say parents need to be a part of their childs life and show them some direction, give them a little encouragement once in while and not let them stumble along and have to figure everything out for themselves.
Don`t squash a childs dreams - they may not be what the parent wants for them....but that parent has lived their life....let the child live theirs, with blessings and support...
Don`t treat a child like a child when they are not a child...children have brains, they should be encouraged to use them and question all the time....
Parents should also not be afraid to talk to their kids...as much as a parent is part of a childs life so a child should be part of a parents life...you cannot expect your child to talk to you if you do not talk to them...
I like that...
and in answer to your question yes I reckon I would take advice from someone like you....you seem to question your parenting skills all the time...surely that shows growth on your behalf?
when i have kids one day then I will come back and contradict everything I ever write on your blogs
oh yes ....please never tell your children....YOU WILL UNDERSTAND ONE DAY WHEN YOU HAVE KIDS OF YOUR OWN.....oh my word!!!!
ash
Comment by Wendi
I encourage my children to reach for the stars, but to do so with their feet firmly planted on the ground. Nothing comes easy, and if it does, we tend not to see its value. What we cherish most are those things that demand the most from us. We fall, we slip, we experience set backs... but as long as we get back up, dust ourselves off, and continue moving forward, we're okay.
I agree with everyone else here who suggested that potential isn't something that can be "reached". I'd be sad if it could because it would mean I had nothing left to reach for. The goals, desires, and outcomes are ever-changing. That's the beauty of the journey, I think.
Comment by Kleonaptra
Kalikapsychosis
I agree - how do you teach your kids to be what you are not? Simple answer? They are human. Doomed to be always searching and grasping and never quite getting there. My mums parents never encouraged her, so shes a mouse. She set out to make me confident - you can do anything! AAAHH PRESSURE!
Whats a happy medium? Oh, Im happy with my animals. No little humans for me!
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
Nice, I like it.
Hi Damo,
That is one way to go about it
Hi Anthony,
I suppose that negates Damo's comment. Back to the drawing board
Hi Andrea,
And we can learn together?
Hi Lilla,
Oh my goodness, Lilla, what a fantastic comment.
BTW, I am in awe that you can cook and write at the same time. I have yet to master that.
I used to think I was clever when I could drive a manual car, answer the phone and smoke a cigarette at the same time. Ah, the days of wild abandon.
That makes a lot of sense. And it should be obvious.
Hi Candice,
We have a wish list too. I haven't been very good at keeping it. Other things seem to get in the way. I think maybe I need some direction like you have. Thanks
Hi Ash,
Yes, well it's not like you ponder things now is it?
Oh I made that promise to myself a long long time ago
Hi Wendi,
Fantastic advice. Thank you.
Hi Kleonaptra,
You crack me up.
Am I still putting you off "little humans"?
Thanks everyone for the visit and the fantastic comments.
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by Lilla
From The Home Front
Enviro Warrior
Dream Herald
Esoteric Bookshop
...not that difficult when you've been doing it for 16 years, but thank you.
I had the lentil pie in the oven and all the vegetables in the T-fal veggie steamer... that gives me, on average, about 35 minutes of 'rest time' ..um..more recently blogging time...*lol* not good, will really have to modify that soon?
I'm sorry my comment was not aimed at you personally .. not realising that it was Interactive ... but the amount of people I meet who do not feel that to be the case, is ... well, sad. Especially amongst the very wealthy range of income earners.
Again, I'm sorry, if it seemed to be aimed at you...
Caio for now,
Lilla ...
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
No offence taken. I agree with you that sometimes the "obvious" needs to be stated because people do tend to overlook things.
Or not even overlook, just hadn't looked at a particular situation from a different perspective.
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by Kleonaptra
Kalikapsychosis
One night my man and I were bitching about how STUPID our parents were, and I grinned and said - "you see why I dont want kids? Our kids will be saying these EXACT SAME THINGS ABOUT US ONE DAY!!!" He was confused for less than a second when his intelligence kicked in, Oh, his look of horror was priceless! In that second, he realized, all his dreams of being the perfect father(something neither of ours was) was indeed, a castle in the sky. No matter how good of a parent you are, every generation improves upon the last(I know a bit about genetics) and one day, no matter how wel youve done, everyones kids are going to sit around bitching about how silly you are when you think youre great.
My animals WORSHIP me. Even when theyre all grown up. I really dont think the world needs another me....