Mrs M
yoda76WOULD YOU PUNCH A SIBLING?
June 20th 2007 04:46
I have a brother (12 years older) and a sister (9 years older). My brother and sister didn’t get along growing up. In fact, they don’t really get on now. When they were in their teens (maybe earlier) they used to fight all the time – fist fight.
It used to scare me because they would really get into it; throwing themselves around the house with no regard for anything or anyone around them. I was only 3 or 4 years old and I would look at my mother and all she could say was “can you get out of the way of the tv”.
I remember I would hide under the kitchen table and watch my sister repeatedly punch my brother in the back between the shoulder blades to induce an asthma attack. Where the hell were my parents in all this? Watching TV.
Stunned? I am.
All I can put it down to is that they tried in the past to get them to settle their differences but couldn’t and eventually gave up. Like I said, my brother and sister still don’t get on very well today.
It doesn’t appear that my children have the same sort of hatred for one another. Not yet. Not ever, hopefully. My two eldest have their squabbles but it usually is something like “well I’m not going to play with you” or “I’m not going to let you play with my toys” or “I’m not your friend anymore”. The usual retorts you hear.
But I did notice something curious. My daughter invited one of her best friend’s over for a play date. The best friend is an only child. While they were all playing she saw my daughter and son go from happily playing together, to swearing they would never speak to each other again and back to laughs and cuddles in the time it takes to boil an egg.
The best friend was a little confused. Her mother told me that as an only child she has trouble understanding how siblings relate. She’s only used to seeing adults at play. I empathise with her.
Even though I have two siblings, they are considerably older than me. I didn’t grow up with a sibling close to my age so I didn’t through the all the things that siblings go through.
So tell me, would you, did you, punch a sibling?
It used to scare me because they would really get into it; throwing themselves around the house with no regard for anything or anyone around them. I was only 3 or 4 years old and I would look at my mother and all she could say was “can you get out of the way of the tv”.
I remember I would hide under the kitchen table and watch my sister repeatedly punch my brother in the back between the shoulder blades to induce an asthma attack. Where the hell were my parents in all this? Watching TV.
Stunned? I am.
All I can put it down to is that they tried in the past to get them to settle their differences but couldn’t and eventually gave up. Like I said, my brother and sister still don’t get on very well today.
It doesn’t appear that my children have the same sort of hatred for one another. Not yet. Not ever, hopefully. My two eldest have their squabbles but it usually is something like “well I’m not going to play with you” or “I’m not going to let you play with my toys” or “I’m not your friend anymore”. The usual retorts you hear.
But I did notice something curious. My daughter invited one of her best friend’s over for a play date. The best friend is an only child. While they were all playing she saw my daughter and son go from happily playing together, to swearing they would never speak to each other again and back to laughs and cuddles in the time it takes to boil an egg.
The best friend was a little confused. Her mother told me that as an only child she has trouble understanding how siblings relate. She’s only used to seeing adults at play. I empathise with her.
Even though I have two siblings, they are considerably older than me. I didn’t grow up with a sibling close to my age so I didn’t through the all the things that siblings go through.
So tell me, would you, did you, punch a sibling?
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Comment by yoda76
The Tube Blog
Never.
Never.
My sisters and I have always got along, and they ar both more than a decade older than me, so even when I was too young to know better - they were much bigger than me
Comment by Kleonaptra
Kalikapsychosis
So I apologise! Now my comment,
I can REALLY relate, as My brothers were teenagers when I was about 5. Eldest brother was on a mission to kill himself with drugs, alcohol and fights(still trying actually, and hes over 40 now!) and after the fights with John(my sometimes dad) got boring he turned on my brother. My parents would just shut the door to their room so they couldnt wreck up the house. The sounds of them smashing the walls like titans scared the hell outta me! I used to be around for the cleanup(Oh, yes, where were the parents?) and help them clean split lips and all the rest. Younger of the two was fairly passive and copped the worst of it until he took up Karate....He knew he was gay and had to defend himself and I love him so much - Even after he learned the deadly art he never used it - even in defence - against his brother. Save once. Elder told me the story....
"I was screaming in his face, less than a foot away, and the bastard kicked me in the face! I still have the scar on my lip and I have no idea how he hit me like that so close up!"
To answer the question? I dont think so. Maybe if I had grown up with a sibling it would be different, but I cant imagine it.
Does shadow boxing count?
Comment by DuskDevi
Rucks and Rolls
Rugby World Cup 2007
Yes I have and my sibling has punched me. All in the the name of combat training.
We used to spar together.
But what you're asking...No Way.
I love my baby (ha! he's 33 now) brother...loved him from the first time I saw him.
We get on really well, have similar likes and dislikes (or maybe I just forced him to like sci-fi and comics and bikes!) although he's far too mature for me now.
He won't play light sabre war in public anymore.
Plus he's the coolest bro ever...am totally envious of his occupation.
My sons have fought with each other...physical fights but as physically strong and huge as they all are...they still (and I found this amazing because I know their strength) pull their punches. They don't forget that the blood they spill is their own.
Plus they're still scared of the Wrath of Parent...
Then they won't talk to each other for about 2-3 days and then...it's like nothing ever happened.
Although they do apologise to each other, of their own accord.
Now that they're all 'legal adults'...they hardly ever fight. Yeah a few vertal stoushes here and there but the biggest arguments they have now are over who's better at Chess (all 3 were chess players in their younger days and pretty damn good) and Rugby.
And who's going to take the bins out, who left the crumbs on the counter top, who's turn is to set the table, who's turn is to 'de-set' the table, who gets the last tim tam...
Thank God they've each got their own XBox 360s.
(and here it comes...the Attack of the Drones...)
ps. Yayyy Kleo...always knew you were a 10!
Comment by charliesgirl_992000
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Comment by KylieW
Celebrity Obsession
I'm very close to my younger sister (heck, we just bought a house together!). When we were first talking about moving in together when she moved back to Melbourne, we were thinking back and realised that neither of us can remember us ever having a fight - be it yelling or physical fight.
But I think boys can be a different issue. Two of my best friends are brothers. They live together, work at the same place and pretty much do everything together. But probably once every 18mth-2 years they get into a fight. Punches are thrown, blood is spilled. Though 20 minutes after the fight, it's over and forgotten about.
Comment by DuskDevi
Rucks and Rolls
Rugby World Cup 2007
Just called my brother...writing my first comment made me all nostalgic.
He says I have punched him once, outside of sparring sessions.
He's lying because I can't remember this at all.
Supposedly happened when he was 19.
Please note he is way taller and bigger than me.
He said I punched him in the solar plexus when we were fighting about something important like who has the rights to the remote control in mum's house.
Me the beloved daughter who is a visitor or him the youngest and because he still lives there.
(me of course)
He just told me he didn't hit me back because I'm a girl.
He is dead meat when he visits us next.
(although damn, he's a better fighter. And a better rider. And way smarter. And funnier.)
...but I think I got the remote...
Comment by JoshZ
A Simple Christian
Being from a family of 6 kids, the whole fighting, brawling and then laughing about it is kind of a given in our house.
We graduated from punches to words though. Alot more fun and alot less wear, tear and smash on the house and possesions in general.
We also have friends of ours that come over just to watch us. Apparently we're better than some movies.
JZ
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
How about stacks on with all your nieces and nephews?
Hi Kleonaptra,
Does shadow boxing count? Ah, no.
Do your brothers get on now?
Hi Dusk,
So you steered clear of the fights? Oh wait, you did mention the wrath of a parent.
My brother, for a laugh, would place his palm on my forehead, lock his elbow to keep me at a safe distance from him and then tell me to try and hit him. That doesn't work anymore. Or he would grab my hands and hit me with them and tell me to stop hitting myself. Yeah ha ha, really funny.
Sorry, I forgot myself. These are the sort of stupid things my siblings and I do. Sometimes I forget that other siblings in other families don't always play the game of one-up-manship.
Hi Tammy,
I plead the 5th your honour.
Hi Kylie,
I think you're right....boys are a different kettle of fish.
Wow you just bought a house with your sister. Good on you. I suppose our parents would want all the siblings to get along. I know I hope my kids all get along when they've grown up.
I don't think I could live with my siblings again. We'd all go crazy and I think I would start throwing punches too. We've all lived our own lives, we all moved out and finally got to live they way we wanted to that I think if we had to come back together again it just wouldn't work. We are all too head strong and set in our ways.
Hi Josh,
We also have friends of ours that come over just to watch us. Apparently we're better than some movies.
Thanks everyone for the visit and the comments. I've enjoyed reading them.
Love & stuff
Mrs M
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Comment by yoda76
The Tube Blog
A swift kick to the groin is a quick end to this one.
Comment by David
This post contains too many long-term scary connotations for me to make a lengthy comment on it, due to the following paragraph.
I could explain or expand on what I mean, but this is Orble. I guess I just read a lot more into subtext than most.
Chaste embraces, a greeting to Yoda, and none of that other stuff you two get up to.
David ...
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
Loyalty is a big thing. If my sister was in trouble I'm sure my brother would be the first there. Kind of like "she's my sister and I'm the only one that can punch her"
yoda,
Hi David,
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by Candice
Great topic!
My sister and I are only 2 and a half years apart. We've always been extremely close. Still are. But I have to admit we did go through a phase of physical attacks on each other. I have no idea why this happened, only during our teenage years there was more conflict between us as we went through all the hell of being a teenager, plus parents' divorce, moving to a new place etc.
We didn't really hurt each other, just wrestled. But gradually I guess it got more violent and aggresive. At this point my mum intervened. She really had a go at us about our importance to each other and respecting one another, and how it was very upsetting to her for personal reasons. I think this nipped it in the bud - either that or we grew out of it as well.
Comment by JohnDoe
Film & TV on DVD
My brother and I used to fight non stop as kids, all to do with territoriality, dominance and asserting family hierarchy.
Its natural for kids to rumble and assert themselves physically, my parents used to let us go at it within reason, if nothing else it was physical exercise and established a status quo.
That continued till late teens, then my bro and I got drunk together and everything has been fine ever since. Instantly becoming non violent adults.
Comment by Miswanderlust
Killer Beats
Ramble On
Hipnotherapy
My younger sister and I never punched one another. She did hit me with the family bible once between the eyes and knocked me out.
I, however got into many a fist fight defending my sister's honor with her detractors. My sister talked a lot of trash... and this decreased her popularity immensly.
In her 40s ....this is getting old [wink....hahahaha]
Mis
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
Okay boys or girls....doesn't matter. Well it's nice to see that most have come through it and are still close. Like I said, my brother and sister aren't very close. Sometimes I feel like I'm the middle (wo)man.
I'm not looking forward to it.
Hi John,
Alcohol leads to non-violent behaviour. I love It.
Did you two do the whole "Love you man. No, I love you!".
Hi Mis,
I can't believe you got hit with a bible. I shouldn't laugh.
Of all the things to get smacked with. The book that says we should love and accept others.
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by JohnDoe
Film & TV on DVD
Comment by Damo
For the Sake of Argument
My Apologetics
Even if they are girls.
Life is a Kung Fu movie where only your brothers and sisters are invited.
Comment by Ash
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
I have a mean ass temper. And grew up with two sisters very much younger than me siiiiggghhh hitting was not an option.
tea towels with wet tips make even better weapons than fists, especially when they least expect it! This is still a useful tool in the adult world
ash
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
Hi Damo,
As a father of 5, did your/ do your kids punch each other?
Hi Ash,
I almost forgot about the towel whipping. My sister used to do it to me and then claim that she "didn't mean to do it that hard". Yeah right. That used to sting like buggery. Cunning, very cunning.
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by Ahmed
techy.Bytes
Video Gamer Kids
Little Green Foosballs
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Right now, though, he's only 9, not the right age to be getting punched at by me given I'm more than twice his age
Problem is,he's a sissy, no matter what happens to him he just takes it and cries, damn mammas boy. I don't think he'll change, not even when he's 16. But we'll see.
Also your kids getting angry with each other then making up, thats surprisingly typical with kids, I wouldn't be able to relate to that given I'm a good five years older than the next (so we never did play together unless itwas video games), so there wasn't much room to argue over or have differences.
Comment by Kleonaptra
Kalikapsychosis
(scuse me rednecks, they dont serve beer on oxford st....Not the kind YOU drink anyway)
Not that they TOLD younger or ASKED him, they just decided this would be the 'thing to do...'
Youngers response when I told him? Shudder from head to foot. "Dont want to see them, dont want to know them, dont want my friends to see them!"
When elder was born first husband was overjoyed. When younger was born, he looked coldly at mum, said "I told you I wanted a girl" and walked out. (she got it half right! He does like boys..) Marriage was all down hill from there....
One hubby in between....
Then my 'dad' and the five year struggle to have me with a sperm donor! Both boys have slight complexes over the attention I got, being sickly, small, fragile...*sigh*
Last time I spoke to elder on the phone Im afraid I just couldnt tell him where I lived....It was very conveniant that we hadnt spoken in years then suddenly he sees me paying bond on a house, buying a microwave and a bed at local shops and suddenly wants to be my best friend. You may be my (half) brother but Kleo dont play that. Got enough of my own problems...Maybe later I can help you with yours....If your still alive that is.
Younger? Spoke to him this morning the darling. He referred me an awesome job from his department.
Since I only know mums side of my heritage, I was constantly disappionted by the sniping, backstabbing and literal mouthing off that goes on at family get togethers, slowly disconnected myself from them entirely. I dont need that shit.
And what a shock, to visit Kmans family, and have Aunties, Uncles, Grama, Grampa, cousins and in laws who barely know me envelope me in bear hugs, kisses and love and support, and say things like "Oh, we're keeping this one!" "doesnt she fit in so well!" "more hugs for you!"
Man....I thought this shit only happened on TV! Who needs blood relatives when you can marry into good families?
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
Neither my brother or sister punched me. My sister gave me a slap one or twice to 'discipline' me and when I went to retaliate she got all shirty about me hitting 'older' people.
Hi Kleonaptra,
They don't serve VB on Oxford Street.
"I told you I wanted a girl"
Hope your younger is okay with the fact that his older brother and father are well....a bit crap.
Kmans family sound great. I remember when I met Mr M's grandmother for the first time. She came up to me and gave me the biggest hug ever. She didn't speak a word of English but rattled off something in Italian. And she was like that with my whole family. My family were a bit taken aback by it. Not much hugging in my family.
Mr M's grandmother would ring every day or every second day and most of the time she left a message on the machine and even though I didn't understand what she was saying I would always hear my name and Mr M said that she always said "kisses" for me. No-one else, just me.
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by Kleonaptra
Kalikapsychosis
We dont see them enough, theyre all in QLD, but from the moment I arrive its all hugs and love....Im eternally greatful to them for proving to me, this is what 'family' should mean.
Comment by Kleonaptra
Kalikapsychosis
Younger is fine with it. He said the first time he walked into a inner city club with gayboys and queens everywhere he just went "my god, where have I BEEN! Heres my family!" and thats where he belongs!
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by Wendi
Nah... no hitting.
However, my sister and I are notorious for our never-ending hair fights (which still take place in present-day, but more as a joke than anything serious).
Great post!
W
Comment by Wendi
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
Words can be nasty things I agree.
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by Lilla
Enviro Warrior
An Extra Ordinary Life
Dream Herald
As you know, I'm an only child too and like your daughter's friend, I find all this sibling rivalry and violence my daughters get into...well...very frightening.
I can't understand it, it's not like putting each other down will make either biger in my eyes and I am so adamant of reminding them of that. In fact I tell them that it only makes them smaller in my eyes... they are well now, but during the years when I was in and out of hospital...*sigh* it often came to blood.
One of the biggest problems of families that have disabled children as members is that the non-disabled siblings can often miss out on life as a result of the special needs of the other...it is a real juggling act, but one that is not impossible to obtain.
Happily I can report that they are better now and there is little blood, but still many occassions when the word "bitch" gets thrown around like a fly squatter in a mangrove hut.
*lol* I can't claim mastership of their arguments, but there certainly is more peace than there used to be... now I just ignore both of them ...equally... *chuckle*
Good Post, great comments section.
*hugs to you and yours*
Lilla ...
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
Thank you for your comment. Always honest and candid.
It's good to hear that you've come through the other side all in tact.
I have 2 boys....not looking forward to it. Judging by this comments section it seems like standand practice to fight with a sibling.
I'll just put my fingers in my ears,close my eyes and sing 'la la la la' at the top of my voice until it ends
Love & stuff
Mrs M
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Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
Welcome to the blog. Your visit is very appreciated.
Love & stuff
Mrs M
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Always.
Always.
But, keep in mind, he's a 230 pound behemoth that grapples unfortunate opposing players on the rugby pitch with his steel-like bear paws.
We used to fight all the time - but not in anger, just roughhousing. Great fun!
I know that's not what you meant. But I'm supportive of playful violence...
Comment by Mrs M
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Mrs M
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Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
You and your brother sound like my siblings. But no-one would hurl donuts...such a waste
Hi Ahmed,
Shoot donuts out of an AK47?
Love & stuff
Mrs M
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Our sibling rivalry was legendary, so intense, we ran with different gangs as teens and warred with each other for years. It was a really great bonding time in our lives.
Now, my younger brother is still one tough street preacher, another is brawling sot, the youngest is an enforcer from Vegas, and I am the closest we have to a normal blog-o-pathe.
Punch them, ha! They're lucky I don't run them through a garden debris and limb grinder. hahaha, I miss hanging with 'em.
Raven
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Mrs M
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On the other hand, I regret it when I saw her tooth fell on the floor, she looked pale and terrified with what I did.
Bad
Comment by Ahmed
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Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
I think that as the eldest, your siblings should show respect to their older sister.
But like you I think she regretted it once she did it.
I think she resented the fact that she had to share a room with me and she often became very frustrated.
Love & stuff
Mrs M