Mrs M
yoda76Seven year itch?
November 6th 2006 02:30
This week I am going to celebrate my seventh wedding anniversary. And with it comes the dreaded marital seven year itch. But it is not the kind of itch you think it is. Follow me on this.
My husband and I have produced three lovely wonderful children in these seven years of marriage. (I know, we've been busy). But in the last two weeks, several ailments that my children are suffering have come to light.
My eldest (Jordan, 5) went to the dentist for a routine check up and was promptly informed within 2 minutes of the examination that her bite was wrong and this would have to be fixed with surgery otherwise she would suffer long term problems with her teeth.
My second child (Alex, 3) has eczema. Poor bugger has his own itch. Dermatologist informed me that if I don't to turn my house upside down, studiously get rid of every dustmite within a 100 metre radius of my son (and keep it that way) this will turn into a life long allergy.
My youngest (Christian, 1) is tongue tied. He has trouble swallowing chunky food. Early Childhood Centre nurse informed me that if he doesn't learn to swallow chunky food then he won't be giving his tongue the workout required to help him with this speech later on. Double wammy for my son, because as I mentioned, he is tongue tied and that alone threatens speech development.
I, (me,Maria, 32), have developed an itch. It is located on the right side of my head just above my ear. Left hand rest on left hip as a look of confusion takes over my face. And this question escapes my lips, "Where did all these ailments come from?"
I turn to my husband and it suddenly dawns on me. It's him and his dodgy genes. He looks up at me and notices me intently staring at him, studying him. "What's wrong?" he asks.
"You have dodgy genes" I tell him.
"Excuse me?" he asks incredulously.
"You heard. You have allergies, and you've passed them onto Alex. You're teeth aren't perfectly straight and you've passed that onto Jordan. And you can't even stick your tongue out properly. You're tongue tied and you've passed that onto Christian. Seven years we've been married and I didn't have a clue", I state with an accusatory tone.
At this point my husband tells me that he may not be able to stick out his tongue properly but he can certainly raise his middle finger just fine.
You see my gripe isn't really with my husband. It's the fact that I had no idea of the risk I was taking having children with this man.
Just before we took those vows of forever and ever, whatever and what have you, my husband and I attended a premarital counselling course. The purpose of the course was to disclose as much information about ourselves and what we wanted from each other and our married life. There was even a test at the end of the course just to make sure we didn't miss anything.
Well guess what?!? The course missed something. It was never disclosed to me what potential health problems my children might have. I'm not saying that I wouldn't married my husband. Not at all, I loved him then and I love him now.
Perhaps I just would have had children with somebody else. Oops..., there's that middle finger again. Just kidding. I love my children and I love my husband. I wouldn't swap them for anybody.
I just feel like a fool when I'm asked "is there any family history of dental issues/allergies/speech problems?" and all I can come up with is "I don't think so", trying to sound convincing.
On this account, that premarital counselling test failed me. But in every other respect, it was fantastic.
As my seventh wedding anniversary rolls on by, if I feel the slightest tingling of an itch, I'll make an appointment with my doctor. Because there is one thing I'm certain of, that dreaded marital seven year itch is no where to be found here.
My husband and I have produced three lovely wonderful children in these seven years of marriage. (I know, we've been busy). But in the last two weeks, several ailments that my children are suffering have come to light.
My eldest (Jordan, 5) went to the dentist for a routine check up and was promptly informed within 2 minutes of the examination that her bite was wrong and this would have to be fixed with surgery otherwise she would suffer long term problems with her teeth.
My second child (Alex, 3) has eczema. Poor bugger has his own itch. Dermatologist informed me that if I don't to turn my house upside down, studiously get rid of every dustmite within a 100 metre radius of my son (and keep it that way) this will turn into a life long allergy.
My youngest (Christian, 1) is tongue tied. He has trouble swallowing chunky food. Early Childhood Centre nurse informed me that if he doesn't learn to swallow chunky food then he won't be giving his tongue the workout required to help him with this speech later on. Double wammy for my son, because as I mentioned, he is tongue tied and that alone threatens speech development.
I, (me,Maria, 32), have developed an itch. It is located on the right side of my head just above my ear. Left hand rest on left hip as a look of confusion takes over my face. And this question escapes my lips, "Where did all these ailments come from?"
I turn to my husband and it suddenly dawns on me. It's him and his dodgy genes. He looks up at me and notices me intently staring at him, studying him. "What's wrong?" he asks.
"You have dodgy genes" I tell him.
"Excuse me?" he asks incredulously.
"You heard. You have allergies, and you've passed them onto Alex. You're teeth aren't perfectly straight and you've passed that onto Jordan. And you can't even stick your tongue out properly. You're tongue tied and you've passed that onto Christian. Seven years we've been married and I didn't have a clue", I state with an accusatory tone.
At this point my husband tells me that he may not be able to stick out his tongue properly but he can certainly raise his middle finger just fine.
You see my gripe isn't really with my husband. It's the fact that I had no idea of the risk I was taking having children with this man.
Just before we took those vows of forever and ever, whatever and what have you, my husband and I attended a premarital counselling course. The purpose of the course was to disclose as much information about ourselves and what we wanted from each other and our married life. There was even a test at the end of the course just to make sure we didn't miss anything.
Well guess what?!? The course missed something. It was never disclosed to me what potential health problems my children might have. I'm not saying that I wouldn't married my husband. Not at all, I loved him then and I love him now.
Perhaps I just would have had children with somebody else. Oops..., there's that middle finger again. Just kidding. I love my children and I love my husband. I wouldn't swap them for anybody.
I just feel like a fool when I'm asked "is there any family history of dental issues/allergies/speech problems?" and all I can come up with is "I don't think so", trying to sound convincing.
On this account, that premarital counselling test failed me. But in every other respect, it was fantastic.
As my seventh wedding anniversary rolls on by, if I feel the slightest tingling of an itch, I'll make an appointment with my doctor. Because there is one thing I'm certain of, that dreaded marital seven year itch is no where to be found here.
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Comment by Lily
Ars Poetica
From someone who suffered the first two ailments in childhood, i will tell you, they'll be ok, these things have a way of straightening themselves out .. and it could be worse.
Your words resound with me, except that my seven year itch dragged out into an eleven year rash!!!
I have to say Mrs M, that i laughed hard at this;
'At this point my husband tells me that he may not be able to stick out his tongue properly but he can certainly raise his middle finger just fine.'
*ha, haha
~Lily
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
I often wonder whether my siblings and I had ailments and my parents just ignored them instead of stressing about them. You know that "what doesn't kill you will only make you stronger" school of thought.
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by katyzzz
Photography Tips
MS Paint Art
Congrats on a well written article full of delight and despair.
Have you ever thought it could be your dodgy genes?
Re, tongue tied, the doctor snipped under my son's tongue with a pair of scissors, no anaesthetic, nurse held him, I couldn't, he never had any further problems, but he hadn't had ANY eating problems.
Re exzema suitable ointment, and a type of sedative, at night, otherwise they get sleepy, his was only a mild case, but still a problem that needed attention, some cases are extremely severe.
Re teeth, I just don't see the need for 90% of children to need dental work of this nature, forget it until it manifests itself as a problem
Just enjoy your children and don't worry about perfection, you'll be all the happier for it.
If its a real concern, seek the BEST help, that's always been hard to find, but it used to be there, nowadays I suspect they go along with money making trends and whilever it's lining their hip pockets they'll continue to do it.
I am not suggesting that serious medical/dental problems should not be attended to, I'm just suggesting do a bit of your own thinking and remember that children's bodies and teeth and mouth and jaws etc change as they get older.
And medical opinions vary with time. It's hard to go against trends but do not be rushed into making decisions of a non life preserving nature.
If you need a little R & R come on over to my place at MS Paint Art and have a browse, no-one asked to buy.
katyzzz
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
Thanks for your comments. I agree about rushing into anything medical. Admittedly my teeth weren't perfect either when I was a teenager but they did seem to right themselves by the time I was an adult. So I agree with you there. I think my daugher has a gorgeous smile and it is hard to believe that her jaw might need realigning.
Alex's eczema isn't serious, more of a nuisance. Thankfully. He has only had a handful of occasions where it has really bothered him. But it does need to be monitored. Lucky I'm a dust nutter.
How old was your son when his tongue was snipped? The prospect of that also makes me nervous. He's just so little.
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by katyzzz
Photography Tips
MS Paint Art
Under 12 months I should think, and it has never been a problem since, nor even on the day he had it done, no big deal was ever made of it, but, as I said he had no problems with eating, before or after.
But he had plenty of teeth, so that might be an issue worth considering when evaluating a young child's eating ability.
Just guessing with that one.
katyzzz