Mrs M
yoda76I'M NOT MADE OF CHAMPION STUFF
August 25th 2008 03:28
Well I’m not made of sporting champion stuff. Sure I’m coordinated and like to think that I’m quite handy at playing a variety of sports. I’m competitive and thoroughly enjoy playing but I was never a champion in the making.
I just didn’t have that drive, commitment or determination to make it to the top….of the sporting world at least.
I’ve been watching quite a bit of Olympics these last two weeks and I when I think about how much training these athletes go through day after day, year after year, decade after decade to be at the top of their game….I just don’t have it in me. But that’s okay. At least I’m not sitting here thinking ‘if only…’
On Australian television there’s a commercial telling the story of the ‘unsung heroes’; the parents. If not for the parents getting up at the crack of dawn to drive their future champion to training day after day, year after year, decade after decade then we wouldn’t have the Michael Phelps’ or the Grant Hacketts of this world trying to rewrite history.
There really isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for my kids except (there’s always one exception to the rule) I don’t think I could be that unsung hero taking my possible future champion to training.
I could very well have a future champion sleeping in my house at the moment but I’m sorry to say Australia, we’ll never know.
You see, I don’t do mornings very well. I never have and I never will. I’m more you’re 2am kind of gal. Not 6am. So unless someone could guarantee me that my child will win Gold, I’m not getting up.
Is that selfish of me? Well, it’s not like the kids are old enough just yet to show ‘real promise’ in any particular sport so maybe I’ll change my tune. But it would have to be some ‘REAL PROMISE’ to get me up and going.
Jayne Kearney wrote a post on her Web Child Blog about why we become parents.
Personally I think the grass roots of it all is the anthropological urge to recreate oneself; it’s a selfish decision.
I wanted to experience pregnancy, birth and parenting. But when does the pendulum swing from a selfish act to a selfless act? Does it ever? Are they the same side of the coin?
My daughter, who is 7, asked for flute lessons. So now I fork out money for a flute and flute lessons because she wants to do it. And I go without buying more shoes. But I want her to do it too. I find immense fulfillment and enjoyment out of seeing her progress. Selfish and selfless.
It’s no great revelation that parents do encourage activities that are important to them….and hopefully the children just comply like the good little offspring that they are.
Well my netball days are slowly coming to a close. I’m not as fast as I used to be and I’m not about to get any faster. It is actually quite frustrating when the mind is still sharp but the body just isn’t willing.
Maybe I should find out if my daughter shows any real promise in netball. They don’t train in the morning.
And thankfully flute lessons don’t take place at 7am either.
I just live vicariously through her….but wait….we’re not supposed to do that either.
I just didn’t have that drive, commitment or determination to make it to the top….of the sporting world at least.
I’ve been watching quite a bit of Olympics these last two weeks and I when I think about how much training these athletes go through day after day, year after year, decade after decade to be at the top of their game….I just don’t have it in me. But that’s okay. At least I’m not sitting here thinking ‘if only…’
On Australian television there’s a commercial telling the story of the ‘unsung heroes’; the parents. If not for the parents getting up at the crack of dawn to drive their future champion to training day after day, year after year, decade after decade then we wouldn’t have the Michael Phelps’ or the Grant Hacketts of this world trying to rewrite history.
There really isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for my kids except (there’s always one exception to the rule) I don’t think I could be that unsung hero taking my possible future champion to training.
I could very well have a future champion sleeping in my house at the moment but I’m sorry to say Australia, we’ll never know.
You see, I don’t do mornings very well. I never have and I never will. I’m more you’re 2am kind of gal. Not 6am. So unless someone could guarantee me that my child will win Gold, I’m not getting up.
Is that selfish of me? Well, it’s not like the kids are old enough just yet to show ‘real promise’ in any particular sport so maybe I’ll change my tune. But it would have to be some ‘REAL PROMISE’ to get me up and going.
Jayne Kearney wrote a post on her Web Child Blog about why we become parents.
Personally I think the grass roots of it all is the anthropological urge to recreate oneself; it’s a selfish decision.
I wanted to experience pregnancy, birth and parenting. But when does the pendulum swing from a selfish act to a selfless act? Does it ever? Are they the same side of the coin?
My daughter, who is 7, asked for flute lessons. So now I fork out money for a flute and flute lessons because she wants to do it. And I go without buying more shoes. But I want her to do it too. I find immense fulfillment and enjoyment out of seeing her progress. Selfish and selfless.
It’s no great revelation that parents do encourage activities that are important to them….and hopefully the children just comply like the good little offspring that they are.
Well my netball days are slowly coming to a close. I’m not as fast as I used to be and I’m not about to get any faster. It is actually quite frustrating when the mind is still sharp but the body just isn’t willing.
Maybe I should find out if my daughter shows any real promise in netball. They don’t train in the morning.
And thankfully flute lessons don’t take place at 7am either.
I just live vicariously through her….but wait….we’re not supposed to do that either.
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Comment by yoda76
The Tube Blog
Comment by Kleonaptra
Kalikapsychosis
In 2005, I decided that Magnus and I were going to the 2012 olympics. My whole life changed. I realized, to be a top athlete, you have to be a bit sick in the head. I had a personal exercise program I had to stick to, I only ate when I was supposed to and what was considered efficient energy replacement. I had to fit in the correct amount of sleep as well as train myself and train the horse. There was nothing - and I do mean nothing - left for me, there was only training and sleeping. Writing, sketching....All the other things I love just disappeared. The shedule didnt allow them. I understood as well that this program was going to go on for years and that it would only get more frantic as the magic year approached. That was ok with me, I had committed to it, I wanted it, so I was prepared to sacrifice for it, and I started early to make sure we were fully prepared.
Towards the end of 2005 I found out Magnus has a slight leg defect that he inherited from his father that is incurable. The tendon on one leg is shorter than on all the other legs, which results in a changed shape of the hoof. It effects his stride which therefore affects the whole body, jarring his spine and changing the way he uses his muscles. I was told he COULD still go, but he'd always be behind the other horses, always have to try harder, work harder, and so would I. I'd be wrapping him in hot towels after every workout. In my mind, the olympics is enough of an ordeal without adding more problems, and it all boiled down to an old time horseman telling me -
"If you love him, find another horse"
He's already experiencing arthritis and he's only 5. If I persisted, I'd cripple him before he was 10, and thats not fair, far too selfish! So all my well laid plans went to hell, and Im waiting on my stallion to get bigger, so I can breed myself an olympian!
I thought the stallion himself might be the one, but injuries when he was 4 months old crossed him out too!
Comment by Ash
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
Don`t worry when I was in junior school my school teachers eventually arranged for me to get into a lift club with other parents. School started at 7:30am and at 7:25am I was still at home having a piece of bread thrust into my mouth and a dress pulled over my sleepy head because my folks were not morning people.
I excelled at school and ended up putting myself through Uni at night whilst working during the day. The point I`m trying to make is that if your kids want something bad enough they will find a way of getting it.
As long as the parents are encouraging and build the child to have the self confidence that they can do anything... well, you may just have a budding superstar in your house yet. Just because you don`t get up at 7am to get them where they need to be, doesn`t mean their potential will be lost.
There are other parents to do the whole 7am driving thing... you can be the midday collector!!!!! Besides, you have Mr M to get up at 7am - and seeing as he`s up he may as well bring you breakfast in bed, at a respectable hour of course, after he gets home. See it all works out in the end
Ash
Comment by Jayne Kearney
Writers In Writing (and other writing)
I was going to write:
'I love how you express here the schizophrenic dichotomy of parenting...'
- but then I went Googling and found that 'dichotomy' means 'two things that exclude one another'. I then found the term 'binary opposition' which came echoing down from my uni days - but again, it ideals in opposites.
While 'selfish' and 'selfless' would generally be considered dichotomous I think that, in parenting - and here's the paradox - both states seem to co-habit quite comfortably.
I think this is because when you become a parent you don't automatically cease being a human - despite what those incredibly emotive ads would have you believe (I think they are amazing ads btw - they do exactly what they are supposed to).
So it is possible to be both selfish and selfless simultaneously - and there's nothing wrong with that in my book! You can't tell me that there wasn't at least one morning when the Thorpedo's Mum just thought, "Have a sleep in today, Ian, please."
Thanks for another thought-provoking piece on parenting (and the shout-out)
Jayne
Comment by Mountain Fog
Infognito
champion, maybe not, but made of the 'right stuff', definitely!
Good mums always know how to tread and thread, without going overboard, one way or the other. You seem not to be a pushy parent, your kids tell you what they want, and you listen, deciding on the merits of each request, no doubt and the chance of it being fully realised, (meaning your full cooperation) hence your reluctance to encourage anything that requires getting up early!
That I can appreciate!
However, in my own experience, the 'treaders and threaders' were not so skilled. I loved the black baby grand piano that was kept in its own room, at my grandparents' house, and always asked if I could learn, but always got a "no", as my mother hated to hear music basically, or more particularly, she didn't want to be subjected to the noisy cacophony a learner makes, sometimes for years, without improvement. (at 18 I did start lessons, off a pal's grandmother, who thought I had talent!)
Then, I was asked to train for the State swimming team, by my swimming teacher (who had won a silver Olympic medal, not for Oz, some European country), I was about 10 or 11 I think, anyhoo, he thought I had
"..a good swimming style."
I was over the moon with joy, as it was the first time anyone had said I was worth anything, the first time I had heard encouragement, or worth, being attributed to me, so I rushed home knowing the parents would be impressed and congratulate me, afterall, my father had a university swimming cup... but no... and no.. and finally, upon one final pleading, "The answer is no, and don't ask why!" came mother's final straw.
I stopped trying at school, in protest, stopped studying, in protest, and I knew, once they saw my bad marks they would come to me to find out what was going on, and I would tell them!
They never asked... I remained in the 'dumb' class for the rest of my schooling, save for one year, 4th form. However, I did finally find one thing I excelled at, drugs and alcohol....
cheers
fog
P.S. (I just celebrated 15 years drug and alcohol free, so another small success, in my otherwise failed life!)
Comment by Mr Nice Guy
Pop Culturist
I too console myself with the thought these days that recreational sport is basically my lot.
Sure - it's still competitive and at an A-grade level still offers challenges - but I'm under no illusion that I will ever represent my country let along my state anymore.
My kids however are on the cusp - perhaps not of greatness but certainly of taking that extra step that I was never really capable of (or given the opportunity to make).
We all try to give our kids that little bit more - and like you - Mrs Nice Guy is possibly the biggest "I don't do mornings' person I've ever known - but you know what . . . she finds it in herself to be up at whatever the hour (most recently around 5am) to do everything from transport to cheer, coach to mentor - she is remarkable - I guess that's why I'm so lucky to have her.
Having also performed at State level - she understands what's needed not only of the kids - but of the parents - and has empathy for both.
Go with the flow - your kids will let you know - but make sure you ask the question.
Cheers
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
Sorry it has taken me so long to get back to everyone but I have an addendum to this story.
2 days after I wrote this post Jordan came home with a note from her music teacher.
She is now at the appropriate level to join the School Concert Band. "Yay', we all said beeming from ear to ear; and then I read the rehearsal time.
Every Friday @ 8am.
8am??? I'm hard pressed to get the kids to school by 9am.
So the challenge has been set....for me. Jordan has no problem being ready by 7.45am.
Here we go folks, time to see what I'm made of. Can I do it? I'll give it a red hot go!
Hi Kleo,
I was watching a bit of the equestrian during the Olympics and I did start to wonder how the horses felt about all this.
I'm sorry to hear about Magnus...though I do hope to see you at the Olympics.
Just reading your comment I was shaking my head....I'm just not made of that stuff....that sort of commitment. But if you are....you go girl!!!!
Hi Ash,
Mr M isn't a morning person either. What a fine pair we make.
When something exciting has been happening at school Jordan has gotten up, gotten herself and Alex breakfast and started on the lunch boxes just to make sure that we don't be late.
On one hand, it's great that she helps out and learns a bit of independence, on the other hand sometimes I think my 7 year old doubts whether I can get her to school on time. That can't be good. Oh well....c'est la vie.
I agree with you that if you want something bad enough you always find a way. I'm like you, I had to do a lot of things for myself when I was growing up.
I didn't mind going to training for netball during the winter but the idea of it now just drains me. But where there's a will.....
Hi Jayne,
Hi Fog,
Thanks for your kind words and good on you for cracking 15 years drug and alcohol free.
I know what you mean about parents being apathetic. My dad never cared about my achievements...thank god for my mum giving a damn.
Do you think your parents knew what impact they were having on you?
I usually wonder whether dad realises what a hopeless job he did and for years I thought he never gave his parenting skills and impact on his kids another thought. But as I get older, and so does he, I think he realises how much he stuffed up.
I'm sorry to hear that your parents weren't there for you. Do you think you'd be much different if they were different? Would you want to change the person you are now? These are the sorts of questions I ask myself all the time.
Thanks for the visit Fog.
Hi MNG,
I think the thing I've realised is that I'm spreading myself across 3 kids; that's probably the real crux of this problem. I wonder where I'm going to find the energy and time to do it all.
Mrs MNG deserves a great big chocolate for getting up at 5am. For me chocolate makes everything a little more bearable.
Like you, I do hope my kids achieve more than I do/did....just after my sleep in today
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by Miswanderlust
Killer Beats
Ramble On
Hipnotherapy
Many of my friends were sporting moms. Their day began 6 or earlier shuttling them to early morning sport. They would ferry them off to school in a minivan or SUV and perhap use a call list to announce a rescheduled game or remind other parents about a PTA meeting. After school, they would pick up their kids from one or more schools and drop them off to do various activities. On weekends they would bring kids to games, prepare team snacks and cheer their children on.
My son missed the sporting gene. I thank my son often for shielding me from this.
Good luck Mrs. M in your future sporting endeavors!
Mis
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
You have a good son
My daughter has only been in the concert band for 2 weeks and I've already missed one lesson and half of another lesson.
Honestly, last Friday it just completely slipped my mind.
Not off to a great start.....woops!
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by Mountain Fog
Infognito
Do you think your parents knew what impact they were having on you?
absolutely not! When I got older, I began to relaize what a hard act living is, and that was just me trying to cope, without five kids! So, I got a bitr older and wiser and compassionate, towards my parents, sure thye could have done a better job, but they just did the best they could.
I reckon, had they admitted their limitations, while openly praising us and encouraging us, it nothing else would have mattered, as we would know they loved us, even when they stuffed up.
At the end of the day, I would not swap my parents for anyone else's. I admire both of them, in different ways, my father was a good man, who suffered quietly from his terrible WW2 experiences, yet he raised five kids, albeit not in an openly loving way (except he was protective and gave cuddles when we were very young) and mother is a great artist, and is considered a pioneer of an art form, but has her won crosses to bear from her childhood.
As kids we all expect our parents to be infallible, and they are just very, very human!
However, had you asked me when I was ten, well, I wanted to keep my parents, but, I wanted to be sent to a kindly professor's house, who would teach me everything he knew, as I knew I could learn it all, but not in the brutal and threatening environment of a private boys school, I just was not cut out to cope well with all that crap.
I probably ended up using drugs and booze more because of my school experiences, not because of my parents, excluding the possible genetic predilections of course.
It is never too late to change some aspect of ourselves; tomorrow belongs to us!
cheers
fog
P.S. I think your kids would love you to death, so don't worry about failing them, (like missing a class etc) for you have already succeded in the most important aspect of your relationship with them, letting them know how much you love them.
Comment by Candice
I know I'm already unsure of whether the activities I choose for my children are because they show an interest or ability in it or because I'm interested in it.
I know I'd love to see my daughters on stage in a tutu and leotard one day because of my own love of dance (plus little girls look so cute in ballet costumes), but I hope it would be because they want to and not because I'm wanting to relive my own dancing years.
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
It's probably a little bit from column A and a little bit from column B.
I suppose the key is to recognise that you don't push too far.
I play piano so naturally when my daughter wanted to play flute I was excited. A couple of months ago she was still struggling with the flute and she was on the verge of giving up.
I made it my personal mission to get her over her hump. So we practiced every day for 20 minutes. Within a couple of weeks she was invited to join the concert band. How easily things could have turned out differently if I didn't insist she keep trying.
So nice to 'see' you again Candice
Love & stuff
Mrs M