Mrs M
yoda76THAT’S NAUGHNIES MUM! GO WOOM!
February 7th 2007 01:08
This is an article I had published on motherinc.com.au in October 2005. Enjoy!
“I’m naughty?” I ask my two-and-a-half year old daughter Jordan.
“Yes mum!” she says.
“What did I do?” I ask.
“Don’t frow pen, mum.” Jordan says whilst pointing her index finger at me. “Go woom”.
Go woom?! She’s sending me to her room? I haven’t been sent to ANY room in a long time.
I look at her stunned. How should I react? What do I do? Giggle at her attempt to be adult…happy that she understands (finally) that we do not throw things, or nervously look away? Maybe she’ll forget. No, I need to stay in control of the situation. I am the parent here…aren’t I?
I look back at her trying to work out what’s going on and what I should do next when my daughter takes me by the hand and leads me to her room and sits me on her bed. “Now stay dere”, she says as she closes her door and walks away.
I’m dumbfounded. I’ve just experienced my very own “Freaky Friday”. Jordan is behaving exactly the way I do towards her. She even has my mannerisms and inflections down to a T. Do I really sound like that?
As I sit there perplexed as to why, or even how I have been banished (probably much like Jordan reacts when I send her to her room), Jordan then walks back into the room and gives me a rub on my shoulder and says, “You alwight mum? Yeah? Okay”, and leads me back out.
What just happened here?
Am I so sleep deprived that reality is starting to warp before my wary eyes or is my daughter trying to tell me something?
I consult my wide and trusted collection of child rearing books about discipline and find that a number of things have unfolded before me.
DISCIPLINE: AN INTRODUCTION
Let us start at the beginning.
A: Teach acceptable behaviour. Set limitations and stick to them say the books. Okay, check. Throwing pens is unacceptable behaviour. And when we don’t act in an acceptable manner we go to our room for some time out (one minute for every year in age) to think about what we have just done and why we shouldn’t do it again. Parents included it seems.
B: repetition, repetition, repetition. When teaching our little ones acceptable behaviour whether it be introducing simple manners, or to not wear our underwear on our head (in public at least), or to not unload the entire contents of mums handbag on the doctor’s waiting room floor, behaviour must be taught through the same course of action and using the same words each and every time.
So naturally A B = imitating mummy. Imitation is after all the greatest form of flattery and toddlers learn most from simply observing how we big people behave. When they recognise a situation that is similar they just imitate the role-play. In this case, Jordan has taken the role of parent and teacher. And she is simply able to play out that role because I have repeated it many times before.
Children need predictable consequences. They must know that if they behave in a certain way, the consequence will be the same. They also need an explanation as to why particular behaviours are unacceptable.
“We don’t throw pens because it could hit someone, or the pen could break and make a mess. And that’s naughty.”
I have found with Jordan that I need to reinforce key words. In this case “naughty” being the operative one. With her limited vocabulary I stick to the same words so she understands the situation at hand.
Having said that, positive reinforcement works well too. She loves it when I give her a big hug and tell her that she is doing a “wonderful job”.
With these rules set in place, Jordan evidently does understand what is acceptable behaviour and what is not.
DISCIPLINE: THE NEXT STEP
Okay but let’s get back to the problem at hand. I can’t let this ruly 2 year old get the better of me. How do I get around not being sent to her room every time I do something wrong? Let’s face it…I’m not perfect either. As adults, what do we do when we do something wrong? What separates us from the toddler? Our ability to admit our mistake and apologise. This should suffice.
Perhaps Jordan is ready for the next step in growing up. From now on I should give her the chance to right her wrong before I send her to her room for time-out.
So after my daughter’s little disciplinary action is all said and done, I sit down and watch Jordan play with her four month old baby brother Alex and a smile creeps across my face. I’m raising the nations future and it’s doing okay.
As I hear Jordan say, “Don’t hit me Aweks. That’s naughnies. Go woom”. Here we go again. I think this time I will take back some control and show what I have learnt about parenting in the 21st century.
“I’m naughty?” I ask my two-and-a-half year old daughter Jordan.
“Yes mum!” she says.
“What did I do?” I ask.
“Don’t frow pen, mum.” Jordan says whilst pointing her index finger at me. “Go woom”.
Go woom?! She’s sending me to her room? I haven’t been sent to ANY room in a long time.
I look at her stunned. How should I react? What do I do? Giggle at her attempt to be adult…happy that she understands (finally) that we do not throw things, or nervously look away? Maybe she’ll forget. No, I need to stay in control of the situation. I am the parent here…aren’t I?
I look back at her trying to work out what’s going on and what I should do next when my daughter takes me by the hand and leads me to her room and sits me on her bed. “Now stay dere”, she says as she closes her door and walks away.
I’m dumbfounded. I’ve just experienced my very own “Freaky Friday”. Jordan is behaving exactly the way I do towards her. She even has my mannerisms and inflections down to a T. Do I really sound like that?
As I sit there perplexed as to why, or even how I have been banished (probably much like Jordan reacts when I send her to her room), Jordan then walks back into the room and gives me a rub on my shoulder and says, “You alwight mum? Yeah? Okay”, and leads me back out.
What just happened here?
Am I so sleep deprived that reality is starting to warp before my wary eyes or is my daughter trying to tell me something?
I consult my wide and trusted collection of child rearing books about discipline and find that a number of things have unfolded before me.
DISCIPLINE: AN INTRODUCTION
Let us start at the beginning.
A: Teach acceptable behaviour. Set limitations and stick to them say the books. Okay, check. Throwing pens is unacceptable behaviour. And when we don’t act in an acceptable manner we go to our room for some time out (one minute for every year in age) to think about what we have just done and why we shouldn’t do it again. Parents included it seems.
B: repetition, repetition, repetition. When teaching our little ones acceptable behaviour whether it be introducing simple manners, or to not wear our underwear on our head (in public at least), or to not unload the entire contents of mums handbag on the doctor’s waiting room floor, behaviour must be taught through the same course of action and using the same words each and every time.
So naturally A B = imitating mummy. Imitation is after all the greatest form of flattery and toddlers learn most from simply observing how we big people behave. When they recognise a situation that is similar they just imitate the role-play. In this case, Jordan has taken the role of parent and teacher. And she is simply able to play out that role because I have repeated it many times before.
Children need predictable consequences. They must know that if they behave in a certain way, the consequence will be the same. They also need an explanation as to why particular behaviours are unacceptable.
“We don’t throw pens because it could hit someone, or the pen could break and make a mess. And that’s naughty.”
I have found with Jordan that I need to reinforce key words. In this case “naughty” being the operative one. With her limited vocabulary I stick to the same words so she understands the situation at hand.
Having said that, positive reinforcement works well too. She loves it when I give her a big hug and tell her that she is doing a “wonderful job”.
With these rules set in place, Jordan evidently does understand what is acceptable behaviour and what is not.
DISCIPLINE: THE NEXT STEP
Okay but let’s get back to the problem at hand. I can’t let this ruly 2 year old get the better of me. How do I get around not being sent to her room every time I do something wrong? Let’s face it…I’m not perfect either. As adults, what do we do when we do something wrong? What separates us from the toddler? Our ability to admit our mistake and apologise. This should suffice.
Perhaps Jordan is ready for the next step in growing up. From now on I should give her the chance to right her wrong before I send her to her room for time-out.
So after my daughter’s little disciplinary action is all said and done, I sit down and watch Jordan play with her four month old baby brother Alex and a smile creeps across my face. I’m raising the nations future and it’s doing okay.
As I hear Jordan say, “Don’t hit me Aweks. That’s naughnies. Go woom”. Here we go again. I think this time I will take back some control and show what I have learnt about parenting in the 21st century.
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Comment by yoda76
The Tube Blog
Nice post.
Comment by DuskDevi
Rugby World Cup 2007
As I hear Jordan say, “Don’t hit me Aweks. That’s naughnies. Go woom”. Here we go again....
...maybe Parliament should have a 'Naughnie Woom'... this would be a step up from the behaviour exhibited.
I absolutely agree.
There's so much I want to write (on your other posts too) but I seem to have misplaced my time flexing skills Mrs M......I just cannot focus today.
Damn I need a drink.
Coffee.
Maybe an IC...an intracaffeine drip...
Mrs M...your posts...brilliant.
I've gathered you are a journalist...do you have a teaching background also?
I very much enjoy reading your posts and comments. Precise, funny, warm and informative.
Hope you are well.
Dusk
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
I'm watching you Wazowski. Always watching.
Hi Dusk,
Thanks you so much for you kind words. Currently kickstarting my journalism career. I've had a couple of articles published - just trying to maintain momentum. I did a degree majoring in Journalism but didn't pursue it when I finished....until now. I started this blog to practice my writing.
I was so worried that I had lost the art of writing (worse still, never had it?) so I find great comfort in your comment. Especially since you are a journalist, I suspect you'd be able to spot crap from a mile off.
No I don't have a teaching background. I just read a lot. And ask a lot of questions. And of course, think a lot.
A drink would be handy - an intrachardonnay drip? Now that would make the words flow in an interesting way.
Thanks for visit and the comments. Much appreciated.
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by DuskDevi
Rugby World Cup 2007
Journalists have a knack for spotting crap...that's why we have tabloids!!!!
I had thought teaching because you write in a very precise yet 'flowy' way and I imagined you would 'teach' like the way you write...very easy to read, very entertaining and very easy to comprehend and absorb the information.
Good luck Mrs M...make the momentum move.
Dusk